IELTS Writing task 2 about the purpose of University

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the function of a university?

There have been various heated debates over whether colleges should focus on educating learners skills related to their desire vocations or solely concentrate on academic intelligence. In my opinion, the ultimate purpose of universities should be to expose students to expertise in the worksite.

Firstly, there is no need for students to waste time learning other subjects irrelevant to their pursuing jobs. Students may feel bored and unfair if they have to take classes which are out of their main major. For example, if one's field is language, why must one study calculation? It is such a time-consuming and exhausting process. Instead of imposing unrelated subjects on the curriculum and make it an endless four-year degree, universities should reduce the academic load and pay more attention to the essential skills for the students' career.

Secondly, providing students with vocational skills is a great way to prepare them well before they enter the workplace. Many employees find it overwhelming at work because school does not teach them anything but pure theoretical knowledge. Others complain that they do not use anything that has been taught at school. In practice, to be distinguished at the workplace demands more than just a certificate of excellence. University should teach students how to be an exceptional diplomatic or how to impress recruiters at the first sight.

In conclusion, the primary function of the university is to supply graduates with necessary knowledge and skills for the workspace. It would save time for students and prepare them better for their pursuing careers.

@chouhonganh
The "firstly," "secondly," and "in conclusion" seem a bit elementary; I think you can make those parts more complex with less simple vocabulary. Otherwise, it's pretty logical and your reasoning is solid!

You are being asked to offer an opinion based on 2 reasoning considerations. There is no debate / argument taking place, only a discussion. Examiners tend to score down students who exaggerate their translation of the original prompt. That is because your English explanation skills are based on the accuracy of your restatement. So, do not offer a debate where there is none provided. Rather, offer 2 separate sentences that deliver on each of the reasons provided. Saying:

There are opinions that support the idea that tertiary learning institutions should focus its lessons on information and job-know how as these will be required for the future employment of students. However, others believe that the academy should simply allow a student to access academic information irrelevant of its applicability to the learner's future occupation. I believe that the former opinion, in relation to job relevance, is the true function of a college.

See? 3 sentences. One sentence for each discussion point from the original, clearly restated. After doing that, offering your personal opinion at the end of the paragraph seems more informative and relevant to the essay focus.

Your reasons as good. However, the method by which you chose to portray the connection from one discussion to the next is unimpressive and will not help your GRA score. Rather than using numerical ordinals, you should:

- Use a topic sentence at the start of the paragraph
- Use a transition sentence at the end of the paragraph going into the next one

By using topic and transition sentences properly, you will be able to clearly show a cohesive presentation between paragraphs and offer a coherent discussion that will connect your two ideas in a related manner, other than simply counting the reasons out.

You need to remember to offer a clear reverse restatement of the previous topics and discussion points within your concluding summary. As of now, you appear to have simply rushed through your concluding paragraph instead of making an effort to provide the required scoring elements in that section.