Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


The unwanted consequences of internet existence. The main problems and solutions.



ratter 3 / 6  
Jun 23, 2021   #1
Topic:

The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems.


What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solution can you suggest?


Many people said a large-scale use of the Internet has brought on many issues, which needs to be handled as soon as possible for unwanted consequences.

On the one hand, having access to many websites can isolate a child from the outside world. He or she may have a high tendency to stay inside for many hours than normal, even a whole day, just surfing the Internet, chatting with friends, and so on. As a result, he or she will not have a chance of taking part in outdoor activities, which can have a bad effect on their physical health, and they become more and more far-away from parents and friends. Moreover, widespread access to the Internet can cause a significant change om daily routine. Instead of going to bed at 10 pm and getting up at 6, he or she stays up late and until 7 or 8 o'clock, they get up. This leads to an imbalance in lifestyle, which is the cause of health problems.

On the other hand, every issue has solutions, and I think the best way is that parents should make more time for their children. For example, instead of talking to neighbours for hours and do most of the housework, they can let their daughters or sons do it, and spend more time playing with them. Another good idea is that the Internet should provide more time-control webs or apps for children. It does not only form a discipline in children, but it also enables them to plan timetable suitably and effectively, and it may play a vital role in helping parents watch their children's time.

In conclusion, when the use of the Internet happens everywhere, it is very difficult to address if we do not have assistance from parents and educational departments. Children should have a balance between accessing the web and works like study, hanging out and so on.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Jun 25, 2021   #2
The prompt restatement could be better represented but is at least understandable in your version. The problem in this paragraph is the lack of discussion paragraph outline based on simple responses to the provided questions. One response topic per question. The responses will create the basis for the succeeding 2 reasoning paragraphs.

The paragraphs show that the writer is familiar with the provided topic. However, the sentence presentations are a bit on the confusing side. Time references to the A.M. and P.M. aspects need to be better identified. Proofreading should be done to prevent correctable errors such as "om" which should have been written as "from" .

An opinion essay must be written from a convincing point of view. Presenting the idea using the phrase" I think "negates the strength of the writer's opinion due to the uncertain nature of the reference. That said, the discussion in the solutions paragraph still focused on the correct presentation format.

The essay presentation has several problems that can be avoided in future writing presentations. Always remember to proofread for increased writing quality and clarity considerations.


Home / Writing Feedback / The unwanted consequences of internet existence. The main problems and solutions.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳