IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Essay on unwinding mind with video games or outdoor activity.

Compare the physical, mental and social impacts of video games and outdoor activity?Which one do you prefer as a way of unwinding?

Video games and outdoor activities are popular among people as a way to relax after a monotonous day. Both of these activities have good and bad effects on the mind, body and social life. Although I belong to Generation-Z, I prefer outdoor activity over video games for unwinding my mind.

Video games can be only played from sitting on the couch or on a chair and if breaks are not taken between playing, it can cause back pain, poor posture and obesity which is related to physical health.On the other hand, outdoor activities such as basketball, football requires stretching and light exercises that helps to move body in free movement and to circulate blood properly.

Video games can keep one's mind in good shape if they play strategic and interactive ones. Otherwise violent games can cause psychological problems. Outdoor activity such as playing with pets in a park or outside can boost up mental health and playing team based games de-stress the mind. Outdoor activities can be only done in daytime but video games can be played either daytime or nighttime.

If someone plays a video game with their peers, then they can have communal interaction in that case. Otherwise playing alone doesn't make any social interaction. In outdoor activity, you get to meet a lot of people. From the conversations , one can create social connections which is a good way to improve social skills.

In conclusion, video games and outdoor activity both have merits and demerits. But I believe that outdoor activity should be prioritised because it has a lot more benefits than video games and a good way of unwinding.

The prompt restatement is incorrect. As the writer you are supposed to reframe the original topic, without changing the objective of the given points. So your first sentence altered the whole discussion because it did not represent the first presentation. As such, a prompt deviation has occurred, which will result in an automatic failing score for this paragraph. While a positive score will be applied to the writer's response, the early mistake in the topic representation will be the thing that prevents a passing score from being given to this paragraph in the preliminary aspect.

You are redundant in your anchor sentence presentations Try to vary the anchor sentences from "video games". Since you are discussing video games and outdoor activities, you can start one paragraph with video games and the next one with an outdoor games reference to vary the sentence presentation. That way you prevent an over focus on the video game topic.

There are no pronoun references used in this essay. The lack of pronoun usage in first and second reference format will significantly lower the GRA and C+C score for this overall presentation. The variation in sentence format presentation was affected by the lack of speaker reference, which means the GRA score could come in at the failing mark as well.