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IELTS Writing task 2 - Video games: harmless fun or useful educational tool?

Ngoc Lam 1 / 1  
Jan 18, 2020   #1

benefits and drawbacks of gaming

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Many people, especially children, are really into video games. While some people argue that these kind of game are harmless and just for fun, or even can be used for educational purposes, I still hold the belief that the advantages of video games are overshadowed by their disadvantages.

On the one hand, it is true that a lot of children play computer games in their free time for the reason that they are more interesting and attractive than real-life recreational activities. From educational perspective, through playing video games, gamers or users can promote their imagination, creativity, as well as concentration, logical thinking and problem solving, all of which are extremely beneficial for them outside of the gaming context. Besides, some computer simulation games that require gamers to drive a car or ride a motorbike are likely to help them to be more confident and competent when doing so in the real life.

On the other hand, I still believe that the drawbacks video games bring to the users outweigh their benefits as mentioned above. One of the most common disadvantages related to these games is the high level of addiction. Computer games usually provide people with scores, tasks and even rewards to keep them playing. Therefore, it is common to see that people, especially children, spend hours in the virtual world, trying to play more and more, to get higher scores than their friends. This can eventually lead to the lack of sleep and serious problems at school, as homework is sacrificed for a few more hours on the computer. Besides, sitting for a long time in front of a screen and being lack of exercise may result in particular health issues. These days, there has been a rapid increase in the number of children who are suffering from obesity and other health problems related to computer games.

In conclusion, although video games do bring some benefits to the gamers, I still agree that their potential drawbacks outweigh their good effects.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,377 3372  
Jan 18, 2020   #2
Try to never repeat keywords from the original prompt in your paraphrase. The reason behind that is that you want to increase your LR score by using synonyms to express yourself, Using the same keywords, such as harmless and fun, even if used in different areas of the same paragraph can be considered memorized words or phrases, which will have a direct effect on the lowering of your LR and GRA scores. You must also try to avoid the overuse of the comma to increase your C&C score. Your reliance on commas instead of periods to separate your thoughts and discussions will lower your C&C and GRA scores. Show the examiner that you can explain yourself clearly using a mix of long and short sentences. Avoid run-on sentences so that you can get a better scoring consideration for the aforementioned scoring sections.
OP Ngoc Lam 1 / 1  
Jan 18, 2020   #3
Thank you so much for your constructive comment!
howardturtle 2 / 3 2  
Jan 19, 2020   #4
Try avoiding words that make your argument weaker, such as "some" or "really".
You want to sound more confident and assertive, like everything you say is correct.
trvaanh 10 / 20  
Jan 20, 2020   #5
I don't think it is necessary to list many things like promote their imagination, creativity, as well as ...

Instead you only need some important ones.

Try to avoid repeat the same idea I still believe that the drawbacks video games bring .... To begin another paragraph you can just go straight into the topic that is about the drawbacks.
Hung Dang - / 2  
Jan 21, 2020   #6
I think you should avoid from using the phrases '' as mentioned above" or "into something'' because i find them quite informal and you can easily find the synonymous phrases which are more formal and academical.

furthermore, you should mention more specific examples( optional) because you can easily use highly sophisticated words by giving fake information.
For example, according to Times magazine's statistic, 65% video game addicts cannot receive graduating certificate and 2% of them are illiterate

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