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Should we use a bicycle as our main form of transport?



hendrac15 1 / -  
Apr 7, 2019   #1

commuting by bicycle



many people believe that using a bicycle as the main transport have a lot of benefits. yet, any people thing are biking bicycle also have disbenefits. the issue many countries in the world think using a bicycle has a lot of effects to healthy as well as reducing air pollution and also some countries think of bike by bicycle no efficient in this opinion both groups have his reasons.

firstly, a lot of developing countries in the world infuses campaign to biking bicycle in a city. this is make decreased air pollution which makes a negative impact on the environment and also it is not good for the body because a human would be breath on the outside but cause inhaling pollution raise getting sick such as lung cancer and others. in addition the general transportation can be also increasing traffic jump because of many cars on the street not good for transportation to make waste of time. these are making many countries make the campaign to using a bicycle in a city.

secondly, however, develop country have statement biking cycle not enough to decreasing pollution and make spend of time because they opinion electric car better than a bicycle and they believe that driving an electric car can be decreasing pollution and can spend time than a bicycle.

in conclusion, in era modern, a lot of research has a statement about bicycle such as advantages and disadvantages and then this issue having the twice different statement.

Maria - / 1096  
Apr 7, 2019   #2
First and foremost, make sure that the fundamental capitalization rules are followed because this can affect how formal your essay is perceived. I would also say to watch out for your adverb usage because misuse of this can affect the quality of your work. These are two primary concerns that I have regarding the technical or grammatical portions of your text.

To take things further, I would also recommend that you look into a better transition method for your text.Your essay is quite fluid on its own. However, there were instances wherein the complexity of your language had interfered with the overall structure of the text itself. Simplifying your language and the structure can go a long way.

For instance, I would revise the second sentence of your second paragraph as:
This assists in the decrease of air pollution that has a negative impact in the environment. In addition, unhealthy air can cause damage to the human body with sicknesses such as lung cancer and other related diseases.


If you are able to make your sentences more concise, you can be ensured that your essay becomes more comprehensible for the readers. I would recommend that you stick to this simplified version at all costs, especially when you are still learning the language.

Cut down your third paragraph into three different sentences. Afterwards, you should add a concluding sentence. Doing this would make the structure of this portion firmer in its discussion of the topic.

I would also recommend revising the conclusion because it is quite vague. It would help if you have a reflection on this portion. Perhaps you can even add an anecdote to help your essay become more personalized.

Best of luck.
tcl1120 9 / 27  
Apr 7, 2019   #3
There are some mistake and typo, you may need a double check before you hand in next time.

Also you may layout your ideas in different aspects. For an example, recommending to use bicycle in short distance and vehicle in longer distance.
It may also consider to prohibit the usage of vehicle in some districts , for instance, preservation area or capital or metropolis...

Cheers.


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