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TOEFL ESSAY:HOW TO USE THE LAND THAT YOU WISH?



hatung94 6 / 8  
Jan 23, 2010   #1
TOPIC: Imagine that you have received some land to use as you wish. How would you use this land?

Land is a valuable resource as we can get a lot of money and a lot of other things from it. And the wisest thing to take full advantage of land maybe setting up business on it. Personally, if I were given some land as I wish, I would open a coffee shop of my own on it.

The demand for coffee is growing everyday and it becomes an indispensable drink to many people. Although a lot of coffee shops are opening but they still seem not to meet the needs of customers. Thus, with a number of customers, some land locating in a busy street would offer me such an opportunity to open a successful coffee shop.

Locating in a busy street, my shop has such an advantage to attract customers. Thus if it had a remarkable appearance, many people will come to it and my business would pay off. For myself, I really want to design my shop in the Chinese style with some modern parts of the city. This will make my shop stand out from the others and no one can take their eyes of its vividness. Moreover my coffee shop will not only sell coffee. There will be a different menu that my customers can have not only coffees but also many kinds of Eastern Teas, what Asian Americans are very interested in.

Running this unique coffee shop would certainly bring me a lot of money. With the money getting from it, I will be able to open more and more shops and then make coffee shop chains. As a sequence, I will become a big boss and famous for the coffee shop chains that I own. This would be very great. Moreover, as having a lot of money, I will donate it for the charity and I believe that it will help the poor have a better life.

In short, opening a coffee shop in the land as I wish would be a wonderful thing that I will not only achieve success and make money from it but also be able to help a lot of people as well.

Please check my essay.

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Jan 23, 2010   #2
Land is a valuable resource, as we can make a lot of money and a lot of other things from it.This is vague and makes an uninteresting first sentence. You want to grab your readers attention with a great first sentence!!

And the wisest thing to do, to take full advantage of land, may be setting up a business on it.

The demand for coffee is growing every day and it becomes an indispensable drink to many people.

Although a lot of coffee shops are opening,but they still don'tseem to meet the needs of customers.

Thus, with a number of customers, some land locatedon a busy street would offer me such an opportunity to open a successful coffee shop.

Locatedon a busy street, my shop has such an advantage to attract customers.

With the money I would be getting from it, I would be able to open...

That actually does sound like a great business! Good luck!


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