Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Ielts - use of nuclear technology should be discouraged even for civil purposes



w_even 6 / 14  
Jul 9, 2011   #1
hi folks,

Essay forum is a great place to improve your writing skills based on the feed back from community. I have read plenty of IELTS essay posted on this forum and found their feedback very helpful. However this is my first post to this forum. I will highly appreciate your feedback.

The nuclear power provide clean and cheap energy.
The advantages of nuclear technology outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree ?

The topic of nuclear technology frequently generates a heated debate with proponenets maintaining that nuclear power provides a source of efficient and economical energy while opponents argue that atomic technology is uncontrollable and very dangerous to handle. As far as my opinion is concerned , I find myself aligned with opponenets of the usages of nuclear power. I have several reasons to believe its disadvantages outnumber the few advantages.

First and foremost reason is that pursuit of nuclear technology one way or the other leads towards atomic weapons. Last centuary has witnesed the horrors of such weapons. If each country pursues the fusion and fission process some of them may try to mold it for millitary usage.

Another reason to fortify my opinion is that even civil usages of atomic power pose a dire threat of radio activity. For example recently there has been an incident in which an atomic power house leaked tons of radio active material into air when an earthquake hit the surrounding area. This unfortunate event proves that no matter how much careful we are such accidents are unevitable.

Last but not least, while generating energy from any source be it hydro power or oil there always is some wastage and so is the case with nuclear power. Safely getting rid of nuclear waste is a daunting task and there has not been any permanat solution of it. This waste is many times more lethal to our environment than any of the other hazordous material.

To sum it up, from above mentioned facts it can easily be deduced that nuclear power may apear silver bullet for energy crisis but its disadvantages far outweigh the adavantages. Thus i suggest that use of nuclear technology should be discouraged even for civil purposes.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jul 9, 2011   #2
The topic of nuclear technology frequently generates a heated debate withamong proponenets maintaining that nuclear power provides a source of efficient and economical energy while opponents argue that atomic technology is uncontrollable and very dangerous to handle.

For example, recently there has been an incident in which an atomic power house leaked tons of radio active material into air when an earthquake hit the surrounding area. ----------------- Why dont you be specific about this example which would help convince the reader more. Say it happened in Japan.

Last but not least, while generating energy from any source be itsuch as hydro power or oil , there always is some wastage and so is the case with nuclear power.

You have an interesting way of presenting your ideas. Also your English writing is quite high standard. I think you will go for a very good score at IELTS. GOOD LUCK!
OP w_even 6 / 14  
Jul 10, 2011   #3
thank you Samuel and De silva for your feedback.

Regarding Japan accident, actually an IELTS teacher suggested me not to put specific details such as country name etc. in essays. I am kind of sceptical about this myself too. I believe, just as you wrote above, that an specific example is more convincing. Anyone else can shed some light on it ?

While judging my own essay I think, I do not provide linking words between sentences. is that is case ?

Thanks,
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jul 11, 2011   #4
Welcome to EF!! I'm glad you are enjoying the sight. Thanks for posting!

opponenets

Be careful of little typos.

Hey, your first sentence is very well-constructed!

This unfortunate event proves that no matter how much careful we are such accidents are unevitable.---No need for MUCH. Leave it out. Just like this:

No matter how much deep the water is, I am going swimming!

:-) You don't need much help!! This kind of writing seems easy for you. Well done!


Home / Writing Feedback / Ielts - use of nuclear technology should be discouraged even for civil purposes
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳