Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS task 2 essay Using animals for testing the medicines

serbinax 7 / 19 7  
Feb 20, 2020   #1

animals are widely used in scientific research

Some people say that it is necessary to use animals for testing the medicines intended for human beings, others however think it is cruel and unnecessary.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people argue that the usage of prescription drugs must be first tested on animals. Others believe that exploiting them in medical experiments is sadistic and can be avoided. While some animals' gene structure is similar to that of humans', I believe this should not be seen as a justification for their use as a laboratory material, because animals are our friends.

On one hand, some people think it is necessary to use animals in order to test medicines, because DNA composition of some of them is very similar to humans'. Human life is priceless, so, in order to save the lives of millions, scientific research must be conducted on animals first. As a result, reaction to medicine and the death rate can be measured before the drug can be approved to treat sick people. For example, mice and rats are two well-known animals that have been frequently utilized to develop the cure for cancer.

However, animals have always been an important part of our lives. We, as humans, cannot treat them as a means to an end, because it is unethical and unnecessary. It is true that there is no scientific evidence showing that animals can feel pain or suffer, but if we cannot put the price on human's life, then we cannot devalue the life of an animal either. Moreover, pharmaceutical corporations have substantial amounts of necessary resources that they can spend on paying those people who would agree to participate in a drug research.

Although some people believe it is safer to use animals for testing drugs, others disagree by saying that it is unnecessary and cruel in nature. I reiterate my opinion by saying that animals are our smaller friends, which we need to protect, and paid drug tests can be conducted on people who give their consensual agreement to them.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,509 2955  
Feb 21, 2020   #2
Why do you constantly disregard the prompt discussion instruction in your prompt paraphrase? How many times do I have to tell you that the outline is strictly followed for the paraphrase? I sound like a broken record already. I am confused as to how you think you can give proper advice to the other students here when you cannot correct your own mistakes, regardless of how often these same mistakes are pointed out to you. It is difficult for others to follow the advice and examples of others who constantly make the same mistakes, even after a mirror is held up to them to show them how they keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Opening your textbook to give advice to other students is not the same as being able to properly write your essays to serve as positive examples to the others wanting and willing to learn from an exchange of information and observing how the mistakes of others can be properly corrected.

Maybe you are ignoring my advice because you think you are better than a contributor and you are just coming here to show off. It seems you do not want to receive advice that can help you pass the test. There is no way I can help you if you constantly make the same mistakes. Then again, maybe you don't want my help. You just want to show off and have your ego stroked by having others tell you how good your work is, when it isn't. I am not in the practice of paying lip service to the students here. I call it as it is and I expect to see improvements in the work of students who repeatedly post here. Student's like yourself. When that doesn't happen, I have to issue an ultimatum.

This will be the final advice I will be giving you. Fail to correct your mistakes in your next posting and you will no longer receive advice from me. Which is probably what you would like to happen. You can wait to receive accolades from the other students, just like yourself, in this forum instead. Now, I will do my job and review your work, which has the same mistakes again, one more time.

Again, the introduction and conclusion have the same mistakes I keep pointing out in the essays you have been writing. Just review the advice I gave (if you wish) on those essays to learn how to improve and correct those mistakes. The format for the discussion always needs ownership phrases within the topic sentences of each paragraph to indicate a clear discussion point and point of view. Without it, the discussion becomes only personal in approach. The total essay is only partially correct in discussion approach. TA deductions will follow suit due to the lack of representation for the first 2 required opinions. No matter how well you think you discussed the essay, your inability to follow the discussion instructions will cause your essay to receive a less than passing mark.
OP serbinax 7 / 19 7  
Feb 21, 2020   #3
No, you are mistaken, and I really appreciate your feedback on my essays.
I am making honest mistakes with my essays, but this is only because I wrote several during the day on the "discuss both views" topics. That's why the same mistake have repeatedly shown in several of my essays. I apologize for that.

As for giving feedback to other students, I have been trying to help students with grammar only, but have been punished for giving "pointless comments''. In no way I am trying to show off, this is not in my character at all. I just want to help others in the way I can. It is very difficult.

Again, thank you for your feedback. I will work on my essays more. I hope you do not give up on me.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 essay Using animals for testing the medicines