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The value of plans. Toefl exam.

Adamtong 9 / 32 2  
Oct 3, 2014   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? As modern life becomes more complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

Our teachers instilled the value of plans into us since the first day we sit in a classroom. We are asked to use specific notebooks to plan daily life. It could be a plan about as simple as the order to do homework tonight, or as complex as the way we spend a period of time, like a holiday. With a plan, my life is in order and some vague goals turn out to be divided into a few practical procedures step by step. Having experienced the benefits of a plan, I would always make a plan for an event in my life.

A practical plan comes from a serious assessment of yourself objectively. In other word, making a valid plan is a process to realize who you are and what you really want. You are supposed to analyze your advantage and disadvantage in an assignment and find out what is need to reach your goal, and based on that assessment, you can make a clever plan before you start a project. As students, I am familiar with this situation. Before a exam, I would like to make a plan leading our revision. I would ask myself which subject I am not good at and which chapter is estimated obviously by my professors. I would also make a time schedule reminding me where I am in a revision. This is important, because we am familiar with ourselves much better than anyone else. With a delicate and detailed plan, we just make clear what is our weakness and build a solution to that. This solution makes us focus on our goal, the exam. Distraction such us computer games or football are more likely to be avoided since what you should do could simply depend on your schedule.

Admittedly, a spontaneous decision seems much easier than a boring and exhausting plan sometimes. I would say that depends. If you are going to relax, then there is no problem to make a spontaneous decision at the moment. In fact, decision basing on your emotion at the moment is a good part of a relax. However, in cases we are facing a serious problem or project, a plan always helps.

Young people are facing with a lot of huge challenges in this complex world, and a exam seems not a big deal sometimes. Plan is a good tool for us solving these troubles and shines the way to a solution. I don't want to live in a lazy life whole life, so I believe it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

Dear forum, I'm sorry if you think i am not honest and do no respect your regulation. I promise I will give a serious feedback to others' essay from now on. Sorry again.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 3, 2014   #2
- Adam, you need to fix your introduction because it does not contain a restated thesis. While you present a very good overview of the topic to be discussed and you present your opinion on the matter quite clearly, you still need to let the people know what the basis of the topic is by presenting the essay prompt.

- Clearly you have forgotten that when discussing an opinion paper, you need to present the opposing view in the first paragraph and then contradict it using your opinion on the matter. I suggest you do so in order to strengthen your position on the matter.

- Adam, I suggest that you present a comparison at this point in order to prove that knowing how to plan and making plans is an essential skill that young people need these days. Compare the kids who do not make plans to those who make plans. Show whose lives are better organized and well functioning and why.This will be the example that is necessary to support your stance on the matter. You also need to write a concluding statement for your essay.

Adam, your essay needs a lot of work before it can even be ready for grammar editing. Try to fix the content using my suggestions. It just may help you :-)
buheborjgin 1 / 5  
Oct 27, 2014   #3
leading our revision

perhaps this is better 'guiding our course review'
buheborjgin 1 / 5  
Oct 27, 2014   #4
which chapter is estimated obviously by my professors

do you mean 'which chapter is the main focus of my professors in the exam'
buheborjgin 1 / 5  
Oct 27, 2014   #5
your 2nd para intend to argue that plan can help one better analyze himself, realize what he need and discipline oneself.These are very cogent points. However, you should express it more clearly to connect with the argument--plan is essential to young people
buheborjgin 1 / 5  
Oct 27, 2014   #6
you should also reorganize the overall structure of the article(as commentator said above), especially an outline at the start

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