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IELTS: 'various jobs can't be limited to a gender'; more women are taking over traditional male work


stephy7658 3 / 6 3  
Aug 27, 2014   #1
Many women now do work which is traditionally done by men. Why do you think this change happened and what is your opinion?

In the present-day society, an increasing number of jobs which were more appropriate for men are taking control by women. This has drawn a controversial issue that whether men and women's work should be divided clearly. Some people believe that women should not perform men's job while some state otherwise. In my opinion, male and female should be treated equally when it comes to work.

It is reasonable and understandable that more women want to do a men's work. To begin with, confronting with such severe job competition and economic stress in the society, women can no longer play a role simply as a housewife. Some of them even can't be satisfied of being an office worker. In order to get higher rewards to relieve pressure from family, a growing number of women with great ambition tend to work in politics, economic region and even military area as men do.

Another convincing reason is that modern women tend to proof the fact that they are as strong and capable as men. In the old tradition, women were treated unequally when they were born. With generations of disputes and discriminations, present-day women try their best to break this traditional idea by performing the same work as men do in order to get more respects and to win a higher social status.

Personally, women and men play equally role in the society. Since women tend to be patient, thoughtful, careful in many aspects, they are fully capable in competence with men. History has whom that female military act more agilely in a war and women had greater potential of being spies and undercover. Furthermore, there is no clear definition of what a men's job is as there is no limit what a woman can't do.

In conclusion, various jobs can't be limited to genders. The fact that women are staring to challenge the work they don't used to do is a positive sign of social development.

Pyon9x 11 / 24 9  
Aug 27, 2014   #2
excuse me but i get confused here...
as i saw from the topic, they ask you to answer
Why do you think this change happened and what is your opinion?

and it seems like you put emphasis on the equality of both genders in terms of work....

In the present-day society, an increasing number of jobs which were more appropriate for men are taking control by women. This has drawn a controversial issue that whether men and women's work should be divided clearly. Some people believe that women should not perform men's job while some state otherwise. [i]In my opinion, male and female should be treated equally when it comes to work.

i wonder if anything's wrong here :)
nguoi_co_doc 7 / 16 10  
Sep 3, 2014   #3
To begin with, confronting with such severe job competition and economic stress in the society, women can no longer play a role simply as a housewife.Some of them even can't be satisfied of being an office worker.

what is your purpose of the sentence "Some of them even can't be satisfied of being an office worker". You are supporting the idea that women can take over the duties like men, but your sentence made your idea weaker.

may I give you suggestion like: Not only some of them can be satisfied of being an office worker but a growing number of women with great ambition also tend to work in politics, economic region and even military area as men do.

Another convincing reason is that modern women tend to proof the fact that they are as strong and capable as men
You started the second paragraph in body part with a very complicated sentence. It made the reader confuse and cannot follow your idea. I think you can revise it shorter to make your idea more clear.

I suggest: Importantly equal, modern women prove that they are as strong and capable as men.
by the way, in an academic essay, be careful with "can't". It will be better if you write " cannot"

Sorry administrators, could you delete my comment above, please. Thanks so much ^^


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