There are various reasons why schools have serious issues with pupils acting

problems with students behavior AT SCHOOLS

It true that student behaviour in many countries is getting worse and worse nowadays. There are various reasons why schools have serious issues with pupils acting, but measures can absolutely be taken to address this problem.

Firstly, the educating the children of parents apparently affects the students' behavioural patterns. Many mothers and fathers have neither the time nor skill required to teach their youngsters not to be rude and actively rebel against school regulations. Secondly, inappropriate behaviour of students can be attributed to the social media and video games. A lot of students are behaving aggressively due to the games they often play and the media tools they often use, which show a lot of violence and sadistic scenes. Consequently, fighting with their friends or being discourteous with their teachers is a normal action.

There are some solutions to deal with this issue. I believe that parents should spend more time for the children, be patient and sympathetic to them, and help them to overcome the difficulties in school life. They can also set strict rules and use reasonable punishments in order for them to behave properly and be responsible for their actions. Furthermore, schools should cooperate with the families to guide the students how to use media tools usefully and take part in some extracurricular instead of playing video games.

In conclusion, I believe that all children are born with an innate good nature, which can be easily damaged by their external factors and the wrong education. Therefore, it is necessary to take steps to tackle this problem.

I do not feel that you have written enough words in this essay to truly reflect your English vocabulary, command of grammar, and opinion presentation. You would score better if you wrote a minimum of 275 words instead. That way you will have written enough sentences to reflect your skills in the aforementioned areas, which all relate directly to each scoring rubic for this task.

Your prompt paraphrase is composed of memorized phrases of English words that does not appropriately address the discussion points regarding the causes and solutions to the given problem. Since the words causes and solutions are in plural form, you will need to present a discussion outline that represents 2 connected causes and 2 connected solutions. Each pair of discussion topics must be completely discussed within 2 paragraphs namely; the causes and solutions. This means, the essay will have a 4 paragraph format. Expect deductions for using memorized phrases that incompletely represents the original prompt (there is no clear paraphrase), and the lack of discussion outline as a part of the introduction.

Rather than using a numerical ordinal for your presentation, use topic sentences instead. These counts are nothing but word fillers that do not really help to highlight your writing skills. Simply use a topic sentence at the start of the paragraph, then use a transition sentence midstream to connect it to the next topic. A transitional sentence will help you score better in terms of C&C considerations. It would be better if you could use related topics in this instance. Such as:

Topic 1: Parents to not have time to teach their children manners and conduct
Topic 2: Parents rely on have a misconception that the school will teach children to behave

The focal point of your discussion are the parent's responsibilities. That is why you used them as your first topic sentence in the paragraph. Therefore, the succeeding discussion points in that paragraph should relate to them. Or, another approach would be, to have you present the paragraph as follows:

Topic 1: Parents failure to teach discipline
Topic 2: Parents need to teach discipline using modern parenting methods

Either format will work well for the essay. You just need to be sure to stay on point regarding the related topics because the C&C score will weigh heavily on that aspect.

The concluding paragraph has the same problems. You did not restate the problem, nor the discussion instruction. There was no mention of your discussion points, and you did not really present a closing sentence to show the discussion has ended on the expected presentation format.