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BOTH VIEW & OPINION - TV is a good educational tool for children.

fatika3007 4 / 8 3  
Jun 21, 2020   #1

TV program for children

Television becomes preferable enlightentment media for childhood, while some people argue that youngsters choose television for amusement. In my opinion, I believe that TV offered valuable educational feature for the childen that increase understanding and entertain the youngster as to releasing stress.

Choosing TV as educational media for children could be the realistic reason since it has attractive feature. Screen-based learning including educational TV channel makes simplicity to combine several kind of learning media in one complete package. As the children have different learning method, these creative stuffs can encourage them to have depth understanding according to their ability. Taking example, TVRI in Indonesia offers special channel to support everyday distance-learning which deliver the study material using any kind of sophisticated media without reducing teacher explanation in the begining.

A teenager group prefer such entertaining program which can bring happiness in their daily life. After long-day working, they likely choose informal shows rather than formal ones which can help purifying their mind and body from complicated job by doing some refreshing activities like watching television. Based on data from informatic and technology ministry of Republic Indonesia, shop opera and games lead the race for amusing people age 15-40 years old, while people whose age is over 40 tend to watch informative program.

In my point of view, wide range of TV channel variey give a freedom for the audience to actively choose their favourite. Adults is suggested to be more selective in particular age-restricted content when they nurture their children. This will be wise, if adult set the educational section during daytime and shift in to entertainment content during nightime.

To sum up, educational section in TV program can brings advantages for children as it helps education process and it can be enjoyable for the youngster's routine. Furthermore, TV can provides benefit if the people select the program wisely.

(309 WORDS)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,511 3437  
Jun 22, 2020   #2
There are several IELTS topics in relation to TV watching and children. You should have uploaded the complete prompt along with your response so that I could have gotten a clear idea as to what the 2 public reasoning points of view were presented in support of and in opposition of the given topic. Your discussion paragraphs do not seem to be presenting a clear and balanced discussion of the given topic. The format for this discussion is always based on an explanation of the 2 public reasons, with your opinion given either as a stand alone paragraph, or as a part of the original reasoning discussion, towards the end of the paragraph. You did not complete either format in this essay. As I am unsure about whether you presented the correct discussion topics or not in this essay, I will not be able to do a comprehensive review of your essay.

By the way, you should write no more than 290 words for this essay. You should be concentrating on making sure that you are discussing the correct topics in the reasoning paragraphs, which I do not think you did in this essay, and, you should be sure that you avoided as many grammatical errors as you could have prior to submitting the essay. That means, you can write a short essay, have time to spare for the review and finalization, and ensure that you will get the highest possible marks for your work.

What I did notice, is that you stop short of completely explaining your reasons. After you present a supporting example, you should continue to explain how that example supports the previous opinions or, how it disproves the preceding discussion. The paragraphs are under developed and do not really come together because of the lack of strengthening explanations on your part. Next time, focus on delivering fully developed explanations and ideas, not the word count. The word count will automatically extend as you expand your discussion. So you don't need to focus on solely expanding your essay. The proper discussion development (grammar and vocabulary) will take care of that.
OP fatika3007 4 / 8 3  
Jun 29, 2020   #3
thank you very much for your valuable feedback :)

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