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miaselvina 1 / -  
Sep 9, 2022   #1
The map shows the transformation of a city from 1990 to 2005.

Over the 15 year period, this city saws significant developments from small to modern city in transportation, factory and business district.

An airport was built next to a school in the northeast town, while the southeast development saw a new ferry port linked to a new railway from the east to west town. The houses were constructed around the hospital in northeast town, while the most houses in the southwest converted into apartments. Between 1990 and 2005, two apartments were converted in the southwest town. Furthermore, two apartments were built in northwest town near the lake.

Over the time period, the business districts were developed. In the southeast town, the factory was developed after demolishing trees and houses in 2005, the people could shop in supermarket because it was set up in the southwest town in front of the residential area.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,648 4752  
Sep 10, 2022   #2
The writer needs to expand on the summary overview section since a single sentence is not acceptable as a complete paragraph, which is the requirement for the paragraph presentations, regardless of paragraph intent. So 3 sentences minimum, 5 sentence maximum, no run-on sentences.

As an examiner, I will be looking for a balanced discussion over 2 paragraphs for this presentation. That means the essay should use more of a reporting style than an analytical style of presentation. So, there should be 2 paragraphs for the report covering:

- The old city design
- The new city design

The lack of old design reference means the writer did not even bother to look at the design similarities and changes as it applies to the use of these areas. So the explanation will be seen as lacking in relevance and development.
Hoang Minh 4 / 8  
Sep 25, 2022   #3
Well, I think you should remember about the Overview section. It can be written at the end of the paragraph or just after the Intro. This part helps the reader to get your main point and know what you are going to reading. The overview is usually written in a sentence and do not contain any data.

Home / Writing Feedback / VILLAGE AND MODERN CITY FROM 1990 - 2005
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