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Ielts essay. Violent crime among teenagers



Shahoo 3 / 5  
Jan 7, 2014   #1
Task2- Recent figures show and increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

It is unquestionable that rising figure of the crime is one of the most alarming and pressing issue in the world today. Unfortunately, the most percentage of the violent crime is committed by teenagers. To psychologists belief youth till the age of 18 who lack of social and emotional knowledge are more likely to become offenders. And I am consummmately agree that absence of education is menace to human wellbeings.

The decision of a teenager to quit school is a firts step to prisoning. The role of school in a life and behaviour of a child is massively important, it`s where they are taught legislation of a country. Primarely, school provides academic knowledge, by learning intresting subjects students are directed to their career resolvations. Here where teachers` efford needed the most, teachers ought to spark pupils` interests in order to shun bordom and thoughts for outside businesses.

And absence of parent control gives youth the freedom to everything. Nowadays it is common case when both parents work in a family and the divorce hugely increased. The disarray occuring in families compel teenagers for isolation and intense emotions.

To conclude, This setuation needs advanced approach as it impacts induviduals pysical and moral wellbeing. Government should encourage and empower teachers and parents to take resposibility.

OP Shahoo 3 / 5  
Jan 7, 2014   #2
Hi Dumi thanks for feedback :), but i find the intruduction paragraph the most difficult, doesn`t matter what i do i can`t write it properly. what should i do plz help me? i think i need help. How can i improve my intruduction plz help me :`(
dumi 1 / 6795  
Jan 8, 2014   #3
Don't worry too much about it. If you find it is hard to come up with a good hook, just leave that out and start with the background part. There you can get lots of help from the prompt and it is only a matter of rephrasing it. But l have seen that lots of students go out of topic when they rephrase the prompt. Take the idea what your prompt suggests and do not go out of topic. In the background you should introduce the topic in its original sense and present it to the reader to feel that it is an important issue to discuss.


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