Visitors Ratio for Three London Museums in Summer 2013

The line graph show the proportion of people who came in British, Science and Natural History Museums in London from June to September in 2013. Over all, the number of visitor's rates of the British Museum and the Science Museum showed an upward trend over the period, while the number of people visited the Natural History Museums experienced a downward trend.

On June 2013, the number of British and Science Museum were 600 thousand and 400 thousand respectively. The visitors of British Museums increased sharply to nearly 800 thousand, but dropped to 500 thousand in next month before finish around 600 thousand in next month before finished around 650 thousand guesses in September. In the meantime, the proportion who came in to Natural Museum decreased rapidly from around 550 thousand visitors in June to 400 thousand in July, and then rose slowly to the last month (nearly 450 thousand in September).

On early June 2013, the guest visited Science Museum (400 thousand) was the lowest among these three museums. After that, it dropped about 100 thousand visitors in August. Then, there was a rapid growth to around 450 thousand visitors, but in was still lower than other museums.

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Then, there was a rapid growth to around 450 thousand visitors, but init was still lower than other museums.

Puja, I can see that some of your friends were conveying their feedback related to grammatical range and accuracy part. Therefore, I would like to focus on simple but important issues that all of you were missed. None of the comments above were talking about appropriate "preposition" when talking about time or date. Let me give you all some brief explanations taken from Betty Azar Basic English Grammar book about that issue in the descriptions below:

Do not forget to use:
- in + month or year- In March, In 2003
- on + date (with the year or without it) or day of the week- On April 2, On March 3, 1999, On Saturday
- at + clock time, midnight, noon- At 3:30 p.m., At 4:01, At noon

Remember also...
- in + season- In the summer, In the winter
- in + morning, afternoon, evening- In the morning, In the evening
- at + night- At night

As seen, the descriptions above are the correct explanation about preposition related to time or date. I hope all of you find my feedback is fruitful towards you writing development, especially in IELTS writing task 1. I believe that this perhaps looks simple, but it really is crucial if you put it inaccurately. This can be considered as 'frequent grammatical errors' and the band score would be 5.0.