Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Is it a waste of time to read news in newspapers and watch television news programs?


hangvu248 2 / 4  
Apr 30, 2020   #1
IETLS Writing task 2:
Some people think news has no connection to people's lives, so it is a waste of time to read the news in newspapers and watch television news programs.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



Collecting news has long become an indispensable part of many people's lives, yet some argue that there is no point in checking the newspapers or watching television for news since it has little relevance to daily life. Personally, I do not concur with this view since I believe that news is of paramount importance to people's lives as it equips them with the information needed for decision-making and offers them profound insights into their own life and the world around them.

The first and foremost rationale for the vital role of news is that it informs people with the current state of affairs that can assist them to make wise decisions in their life. As an instance, news of the economic climate gives businessmen the basis to develop suitable strategies for their enterprises. A rise in oil prices, to be specific, can result in the escalating prices of myriad other materials and products, thereby raising the cost of production in plants. Another compelling example is the dissemination of health-related information. During the recent outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic, for example, people need to rely on the news in the newspaper and on TV to keep themselves updated with the numbers of cases, preventative measurements as well as lockdown policies from the government so that they can come up with the best plans to protect themselves and their families.

The second purpose that news can serve is to give people a better understanding of the collective world and their individual self. The news programs which feature war or hunger in Third world countries provide people in well-off states with a comprehensive view of what is actually happening on Earth, besides the luxuries of life they enjoy. Some people may propose an opposition that knowledge on those topics has little to no use in their life. However, I believe that these types of news can teach people to be grateful for what they have and thus motivate them to lead a more worthwhile life. Many people will also be encouraged to join hands in alleviating the suffering of their fellow human beings in less-developed or war-torn countries. Together, they can make the world a better place to live for everyone.

In conclusion, thanks to the news, people can make educated decisions that are in their best interest and at the same time gain knowledge about the outside world as well as their own life. On these grounds, there is no doubt that the role news plays is crucial to people's lives.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,582 4452  
Apr 30, 2020   #2
You do klnow that you only have 40 minutes to write this essay right? You cannot write these many words within 40 minutes. Please use a timer when you practice, that way you will know if you are running overtime and you will be able to identify why. The standard word length is 275-290 words, focused on clarity and quality. The examiner doesn't care about how many English words and sentences you know. What he wants to know is how well you can express yourself, quickly and clearly, within the 5 sentence limitation of every paragraph. Keep it short, score better.

Focus on developing individual discussion ideas. You are over discussing by presenting several reasons in one paragraph. None of which are properly explained nor supported with explanations and reasons. So the examiner will definitely call your writing under developed, confusing, and lacking in proper representation of ideas. You will not score well in the C&C section.

Let us not forget, the examiner will also immediately see that you failed to respond to the task requirement. The requirement is a response to the question: to what extent do you agree or disagree? A simple "I do not concur" does not respond to the question that requires a measured response. You need to represent the gravity of your dis/agreement with the statement with an emotional response. You may review the other essays here on a similar topic and using a similar instruction to learn how to better approach this type of essay discussion.

These are the two reasons that your essay will be held back from achieving a decent band score. You failed to accomplish the 2 most important tasks in the essay:

- Deliver a coherent and cohesive essay
- Respond to the TA requirement

Remember, it is not the length of the essay but the quality of the discussion that will assure you of a passing score. Do not confuse a long essay with a quality essay presentation. It is the quality of the essay presentation, the adherence to the scoring rubic that will help you pass the test.
OP hangvu248 2 / 4  
Apr 30, 2020   #3
@Holt
Thank you very much for your comment. I'm really confused when it comes to IETLS writing criteria yet your feedback has helped me a lot.

Actually, I did write this essay within 40 mins since I did it in an online test with strict timing. I guess it was my typing speed. Apart from it, everything you have commented is absolutely right and it's really given me an insight into how I should write my essay.

Thank you once again for your help.
Luana 2 / 3 1  
Apr 30, 2020   #4
First thing, you need to consider the time when you write an essay (it may be so long)
Next, you have some mistakes when you put punctuation in compound/complex sentences (a little bit)
But totally I feel that your essay is written very well.


Home / Writing Feedback / Is it a waste of time to read news in newspapers and watch television news programs?