Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Watching movie at the cinema or at home? Discuss and state your opinion.



nguyenhathu178 2 / 5  
Jul 23, 2010   #1
Topic : Watching movie at the cinema or at home? Discuss and state your opinion.

Nowadays, mass media have brought a wide range of choices for people to enjoy classic movie or film which are a phenomenon on cinema industry. Some people argue that watching movie at the cinema is best choice to enjoy all type of movie while many other contend that home is extremely option as well.

Cinema has conducted...

please check the grammar. coherence and cohesion for me. Do I address the question?
Thanks you so much

Yayz 10 / 94  
Jul 23, 2010   #2
Nowadays, mass media has brought a wide range of choices for people to enjoy, such as classic movies or films , which are phenomenaof cinema industry. Some people argue that watching movies at the cinema is the best choice in order to enjoy all types of movies, while many other contend that home is an extremely option as well.

An extremely _______ option. Fill that in.

Cinema has conducted people into film with wide screen, excellent sound and exciting atmosphere. Attendants can have a good feeling when they sit in the cinema. They are also served by cinema staffs that are pleased to help every time. However, they have to spend money to receive all kinds of services. In addition, they are required to travel from their home to the cinema.

Another choice for enjoying a movie is to do so at home. In comparison with cinema, wide screen and fantastic sound system do not existed in your house and you must prepare everything like food and seating for yourself. On the other hand, there are some advantages when you watch a film at home. You will save a great deal of money and time because you do not have to buy a ticket or extra service and you can still enjoy the movie without having to travel . Secondly, you can choose food depending on your favorites, such as fried chicken, apple, or beer, which is probably banned at the cinema. Pajamas are also acceptable if you watch a film at home. Moreover, you can chang e the film if it makes you bored or even if it is not enough interesting to you. These benefits bring a comfortable feeling to you.

To conclude , from my standpoint , I prefer watching a movie at home is better than doing so at the cinema because you can eat what you like, do what you want, and wear what you feel comfortable wearing.
OP nguyenhathu178 2 / 5  
Jul 23, 2010   #3
Dear Yayz. Thanks for your help. however, I am still confused about your check
- attendance (n) : being present somewhere or the number of people who go to or present at a place
- attendant (n) : a person whose job is to serve or help people in a public place
=> We should use " attendance" in this case. is that right?

- nearly same with " seat" and " seating"
- which ( fried chicken, apple, or beer,) are ...

please reply if you have a different opinion. Thank so much
Yayz 10 / 94  
Jul 24, 2010   #4
Hello, Nguyen!

"Attendants can have good feelings when they sit in the cinema."
Yes, here you are talking about people (who can be known as attendants) having good feelings. "Attendants" is the logical choice for this sentence. "Attendance" does not make sense because "the number of.." cannot have good feelings, right?

"you must prepare everything like food and seating for yourself"

If you take out "food and" you will have "you must prepare everything like seating for yourself"
or "you must prepare everything like seat for yourself" You cannnot "prepare seat," that is grammatically incorrect phrasing. You can prepare "seats" or "seating," but in this context to prepare "seat" does not make sense unless you write "prepare a seat for yourself." The latter is also a choice you can go with. After all, what I wrote up there were just suggestions, not cold, hard commands =)

"such as fried chicken, apple, or beer, which is probably banned at the cinema"
"is" is singular; "are" is plural. If you use "are" here, you must be talking about more than one thing. In this case, you would be saying that apples are banned at the cinema. I thought that apples were allowed in the cinema so I changed the verb to "is" so that it would refer only to beer. I suppose that is just my bias; I have always felt that I could eat apples in a movie theatre. So again, that was just a suggestion, I do not know the laws of the theatres so well! I am glad you brought up this point, as it will help make your essay clearer.

I hope that helped :)
OP nguyenhathu178 2 / 5  
Jul 24, 2010   #5
Hi Yayz, I got it.Thank you so much. I am beginner,so just want to know exactly my mistakes.
I appreciate your help :))


Home / Writing Feedback / Watching movie at the cinema or at home? Discuss and state your opinion.
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳