IELTS TASK 2: Watching TV is a waste of time. Agree or disagree?

Hehe, finally i can find a good topic that I can show my mom PROOFS that TV is gooooodd. So she will never stop me watching TV hehe :D( but i have to make it convincing godammit :( )

spending time watching tv programs

The question: Some people think that watching TV is a waste of time. Do u agree or disagree?
My essay:
Nowadays, watching TV is although considered as one of the best stress relievers, it is also unworthily time-consuming. While I agree watching TV is not healthy and should do something else instead to entertain, I strongly believe that TV viewers will gain myriads of benefits if they know how to utilize it correctly.

First and foremost, it is easily understandable that watching TV is a wasteful activity. In fact, there are many channels which are really harmful and crap at the same time. Take Vietnam for example. Kha Banh's channel is well-known for his swearing sayings and detrimentally playful lifestyles. What makes him unusual is that he attracts the children very well and they all try to copy lifestyles which are proven by their stupid dances so-called "mua quat". As a result, watching these types of channels is such a waste of time and harmful too. (please fans of Kha Banh getta the way :) )

Nevertheless, as I stated before, TV viewers will gain tons of advantages if use it rightly. Firstly, the obvious reason is entertainment. However, this kind of amusement is extraordinary because it is not as addicting as online games which are somewhat beneficial. Secondly, if people select smartly the good channel, they can learn numerous knowledge depend on different categories. For instance, watching Wild Discovery Animals will enhance your understanding of the animal's living and suchlike and watching PewDiePie will boost your sense of humor and diplomacy.

In conclusion, while some people believe watching TV is such a waste of time but if they watch it properly, I ensure that they will change their belief.

Feel free to give any feedbacks :) (but not fans of Khabanh :))

@Dang Khoa
Hello!

Firstly, be cautious of the formatting and structure of your sentences. While you attempt to add complexity in your writing, it does not necessarily add depth. Always ensure that you have a firm grasp of the appropriate composition before proceeding to attempt anything that's off-the-table.

Consider these revisions, for instance:

Nowadays, w Watching TV is although considered ... relievers, ; despite this, it is also ... ... TV is not healthy unhealthy and that there are more beneficial alternatives, and should ... to entertain, I strongly believe ... will gain myriads of benefit if they know ... correctly. can correctly utilize it.

Having a more academic tone is also critical if you're venturing into firmly creating a structure for your sentence.

For instance, consider this revision on the second paragraph's first sentence:

... wasteful activity. In fact, t There are many harmful channels which are ... time.

Know how to differentiate between informal and formal language. For instance, saying that a channel is "crap" is informal, considering that the term used to describe the situation is colloquial.

Keep these in mind as you are writing. Best of luck as always!