Ielts writing task 1: the water usage

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world. Summarise the information and make comparisons where relevant.

The given charts provide information about the use of water in San Diego, California, and the remaining nations in the world.
Overall, water is mainly used by residents in both San Diego and California while the opposite is true in the rest of the world, where agriculture accounts for the majority of the water usage. Additionally, the figures for Industry are relatively the same in all charts.
Turning to the details, Residential activities is the dominant of San Diego's water usage, with 60%. Following that, the figure for California constitutes approximately two-fifths of the overall, which is five times as high as the other countries. By contrast, a significant amount of water is used for agriculture in the remaining nations, as opposed to only 28% and 17% in California and San Diego respectively.
Moreover, a third of the water used is generated from Industry in California. Meanwhile, other countries involved in San Diego, have the Industry sector standing at the second position of water usage, with 23%

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Formatting is the main problem that I see with this essay. A task 1 essay should be composed of 3 to 4 paragraphs. This is a compressed presentation that does not have dividing spaces between paragraphs. So the examiner may decide to consider this as a single paragraph instead, leading to an automatic failing score due to non format compliance in your response. It is faulty when it comes to meeting the TA requirements.

Try to create a more comprehensive summary overview for your presentation. Focus on the quick information sharing like the comparison sources, the information for comparison, the measurement standard, among others. The trending statement is acceptable in this case.

It is important that you also meet the 3 sentence minimum requirement for each paragraph to give yourself a better chance of scoring highly in the C+C section. Try to use individual sentences per idea to meet this requirement.