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Ielts essay; in what way the money should be spent.



handsome7boy 6 / 12  
Dec 20, 2013   #1
WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a
complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You should write at least 250 words.

While a huge amount of money is spent on the space exploration which has always been the province of dreamers, some people are struggling to pay enough money to compensate the damages that are the cause of wars, environmental woes, and other issues that are likely to have a negative impact on the health and the lifespan of mankind. Very few of us are inclined to spare a thought of judging the amount of money that is being spent.

From the point of my view, the money could be better spent on other things, to enlighten my personal perspectives there are some rational reasons. Today, millions of people are left with no shelters as a result of the climate changes that are contaminating their health and the quality of their lives. To take Pakistan as an example, the flood is held in there which has caused inestimable damage to the public, annihilating less than a half of the country's area where the destruction is particularly inexhaustible to recover. The disaster in Japan happened in 2011 can also be an example for this issue. I strongly believe that the money ought to be spent on this kind of disasters to balance the environment and the people's lives providing anything else that could help them to be alive.

Albeit, exploring space is considered to be necessary for the sake of predictable bad effects of the outer space. Learning outer space can be fruitful for some reasons associated with climate changes. For instance, predictions of flash floods or upcoming strong winds or extreme temperature changing can be ensured so that the countries try to do something to cope with it. On the other hand, several Appolo missions has been held so far that it can be described as a real activity of squandering money.

In conclusion, I highly recommend to handle the way in which the money is spent in an any planned way can be advantageous if it is intended to save our "blue planet".

20.12.2013 11:05
i don't think the body part 2&conclusion is comprehensive enough to give the main idea of my thoughts. looking forward to your comments!!!

dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 20, 2013   #2
some people are struggling to pay enough money to compensate the damages that are the cause of wars

this sounds a bit odd... compensate damages of the wars? You could have said some people struggle to meet their daily expenses or something that is too obvious.

I find your writing is not well aligned with what your prompt asks. It is more important to have clarity and flow of your ideas as I always mention in my comments to others. It is also very important that you do not go out of topic and stay with the topic throughout your essay.


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