It is widely believed nowadays that social knowledge and the ability to adapt in a changing society

school-leavers life adaptation

There are a plethora of people believe that it is vital for the young people, who left school to find a job, have their social knowledge and the capability to adjust with the developing world. I strongly support this opinion for these facts:

To begin with, having knowledge about social issues can help you to be an excellent applicant. When a company recruits a person to apply for a position, they always find the one accumulating as much social knowledge as they could. To that end, they can easily solve the company's problems.

Another pertinent point, the capability to adjust with the developing world can assist you to make all people meeting you in new companies have a good impression on you. Adjusting and socializing with your co-workers quickly when you have just entered the workplace will make your fellowships are willing to help you with your difficulties in the beginning.

Last but not least, if you have aquadate knowledge that you need for your job and adapting as fast as you can, you will not be under pressure with workloads anymore. Adapting fast help you find the job is gripping and not boring in the first process. Duties that you are in charge of are easily dealt once you have a wide range of knowledge.

In conclusion, it is crucial for the young people, who are school-leavers, to have their social knowledge and the capability to adjust with the developing world. Therefore, It can assist them to be successful in their career path.

Thank you so much for helping me

Colon use in this essay is a problem. The writer used it in a paragraph without including related clauses are required for its proper use. There are no independent clauses presented nor is there a second clause that needs linking to the first clause. Therefore, the writer will be marked down severely in terms of GRA considerations. The lack of proper writer opinion presentation left the paragraph without a clearly developed summarized opinion presentation. That is an error that will result in a reduced TA score due to lack of opinion clarity, caused by an improper sentence structure.

A general pronoun reference should be used in these discussion essays since the writer is not being asked to represent a personal opinion, just a general consideration. As such, third person group pronouns would be better used in this essay, if at all. It is actually possible to write this essay without the use of pronouns in the presentation.

This is a 4 paragraph, rather than 5 paragraph essay format. Therefore, the writer has over stated his facts instead of strengthening his score by fully developing and explaining his 2 vital and connected reasons. The cohesiveness of the discussion points are actually lost due to the lack of connected reasoning considerations. Both the social knowledge and change adaptability need to be continously referenced in both paragraphs through connected ideas.

I think your essay is divided into too many paragraph. To be more specific, each paragraph should contain at least 3 sentences, while yours only have 2 sentences each. Consequently, your idea seems to be separate and not clarity.