Hello, please review my IELTS writing and give me an approximate grade. Thanks a lot!
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In this day and age, women faces an increasing number of pressures such as financial instability and employment. Therefore, more and more people prefer to delay having a child. There is a debate on whether the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss the driving forces as well as the merits and demerits of delay childbearing.
There are many reasons why women nowadays tend to delay starting a family. First and foremost, one of the deterrences is not having a decent budget. As the living cost is higher than ever before, people are likely to struggle to afford childcare and even decent housing. Therefore, their utmost priority is to have financial stability rather than having children. Furthermore, women in the 21st century have more options besides eraly marriage. They are more focused on building their reputation and climb the career ladder. A woman's occupation is considered as a cornerstone to the world and who she is. Thus, these people are willing to reach certain job titles prior to childbearing.
Starting a family in the thirties have distinguished advantages over early marriage. First of all, women in this walk of life are likely to be able to provide well for their child. For instance, my mother had me when she was 47 and we were financially stable. She had had plenty of time to dedicate to her career before so it's not much of a disadvantage for her to leave everything behind and become a stay at home mom. In addition, older mothers tend to be more prepared emotionally. There is an undeniable sense of emotional maturity that comes with age. People who get to experience the various aspects of life are usually not fond of scold or discipline their child for misbehaviour. Therefore, the child is the largest beneficiary of all.
On the contrary, there are glaring disadvantages of delayed childbearing. Scientific research has shed light on the fact that it is more difficult for older women to have a healthy child. Giving birth to offspring in the thirties lead to increased chances of infertility and miscarriage. Thus, there are the chances that the child will have genetical disorders. Moreover, mother in the old ages often encounter difficulties in nurturing their children. The big age gap makes it challenging for parent and kids to relate to each other. This is because older people easily gets tired when participating in childcare.
In conclusion, the lack of financial stability and the pursuit of career are the main reasons why women prefer to delay starting a family. Besides the significant benefits, having a child lately also has drawbacks related to health and emotion.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,844 
4786 In this day and age,
Avoid the use of over used and exaggerated English reference phrases such as this one. Examiners consider its use a memorized phrase from your practice essay writing and essay study days.
women faces an increasing number of pressures such as financial instability and employment
This is a personal opinion that is not related to the discussion topic that was provided for restatement. As such, this will be considered a deviation and cause deductions to the paragraphs in terms of task accuracy considerations. This sentence belongs on the last part of the paragraph as a part of the thesis statement, in relation to the writer's opinion.
The essay is over discussed. The standard reasoning paragraph is limited to 2 paragraphs. You have written 3, an unrealistic writing goal during an actual test when you have only 40 minutes to write the essay.
