IELTS writing task 2 Why women's sports receive less attention than men's sports

The question:
Write about the following topic:
Society today pays less attention to women's sports than to men's sports.

Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

My answer:
Nowadays, female athletes gain less public attention than males. I believe that the difference in their physical fitness contributes to this negative trend.
Because of the structure of the body, the competition of female athletes is not as intense as male athletes'. The intensity and competitive level of the men's game are more likely to outcompete women's in most strength sports. And the public is more willing to watch games that give them greater excitement, only with the exception of some skilled sports such as figure skating, synchronised swimming and gymnastics which people enjoy the beauty of women in these sports. So that is one reason why female athletes get so little attention.

This is a negative trend for the development of sports. For sports, the sportsmanship displayed by the participants is considerably more essential than the final place or the ability of the players. Even though most sports that women participate in are not as intense and wonderful as men's due to physical conditions; the fighting spirit shown by female athletes in competitions is not weaker than that of male athletes. Therefore, it is unfair not to pay attention to the hard work of female athletes simply because of their ability. In addition, the lack of attention can make women less enthusiastic about sports, and turning women off sports goes against the original idea of sports competitions that sport is about participation and sportsmanship, instead of the level and ranking of the players.

In conclusion, the physical fitness of female athletes is lower than that of male athletes and this result will cause a decline in competitive intensity makes the audience more willing to watch the male athletes compete with each other. This phenomenon will reduce the enthusiasm of women for athletic competition and defeat the meaning of athletic competition. (302 words)

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my paper and give me comments and suggestions on my current writing level. Have a nice day!

The topic interpretation and your point of view should stand alone in the paragraph. You will automatically receive a failing mark for that section in this presentation As you proceeded to discuss your opinion in the same paragraph. All explanatory and reasoning paragraphs must come after the restatement and opinion section. This is the action that created an incorrect response format. This should've been a 4 paragraph essay. A task 2 essay will never be composed of 3 paragraphs. That would earn an automatic failing score.

You have a tendency to start your sentences with conjunctions. An error that shows how your English fluency is betrayed by your lack of grammar rules and proper sentence formation knowledge. The words "and" and "because" are used as sentence coordinators that connect sentences and phrases. These errors will affect your GRA score.