Unanswered [3]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


IELTS 2 : Working after school before studying at University - education and career consideration



Bunglon11 28 / 31  
Feb 26, 2016   #1
Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.

Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.


It is suggested that involving in a job for several years after school bring the benefits for a student before enrolling at a university. While this idea tends to bring the advantages for students such as a work experience and financial, I argue that there are some disadvantages as the drawbacks.

It is true that there are some benefits for students who work before entering university because they tend to obtain the experience in their workplace that can help them to choose the program related to the job that they ever did. A case in point, in my own experience, my previous job in psychological service center assist me to make a decision prior to enrolling appropriate program in university due to my occupation experience. In addition, the students who ever became an employee tend to be independence means that they more likely to appreciate their activities without depending on other people. Moreover, they can be aware of their financial where they never ask their parents as far as they did before when they had a job. However, there are some drawbacks from this case that should be considered.

Apart from this, there are several disadvantages for students who take a job in their range time after finishing their study of senior high school. Firstly, they are bound to lose their chance to obtain a better education that has been linked to a well-paid job. In this case, a higher education is related to well-paid job and career improvement opportunity. secondly, a long-term period without interacting with scientific books can reduce student's response about the scientific source. Eventually, another problem is that some universities sometimes have a limited age for a new student who wants to enroll in their university.

To conclude, taking a few years job for students before applying university is inclined to provide some benefits. However, the disadvantages should not be neglected. As a student, I believe that everyone has their own consideration before making a decision related to their education and career.

putri22 33 / 32  
Feb 26, 2016   #2
Hi Hadi, i try to rewrite your introduction to make it better. i hope it can help ..

It is suggested that involving in a job for several years ...

There is a suggestion for people who have graduated from senior high school to involve in a job for several years before studying at university. This brings some benefits for them such as valuable work experience and financial source and some possible drawbacks as well.
OP Bunglon11 28 / 31  
Feb 26, 2016   #3
Thank you so much for your suggestion,

I hope in my further writing I can grasp some patterns and different views, so I can improve my writing skill as my necessity for my professional career as an academic writer.

I am still waiting for your assistance next time
anita11 28 / 20  
Feb 26, 2016   #4
i think you neea a hook as introduction in your writing
It is suggested that involving (sing ) in a job for several years after school bringS the benefits for ...
While this idea tends to bringgive the advantages (...) and financial income , I argue that there are ...

... is inclined to provide some benefits. However,though the disadvantages should ...
Linda91 30 / 39  
Feb 26, 2016   #5
... job for several years after school brings the benefits for a student ...
... I argue that there are some disadvantages as the drawbacks.
... my previous job in psychological service center assists me to make a decision ...
... tend to be independence. It means that they are more likely to appreciate their ...
Moreover, they can be aware of their financial wherethat they never ask their parents ...


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 : Working after school before studying at University - education and career consideration
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳