Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Write the short opening chapter to a novel called A Summer Romance.



Ajia11 1 / -  
Aug 4, 2013   #1
Even before my alarm went off, my phone started ringing. "Hey, Prepare for your funeral because I am going to kill you for ruining for my beauty sleep." I said grumbling to my annoying friend Jessica. As usual all threats and insults were wasted on her and she replied laughing, " I am coming to get you in 15 minutes, get ready and this time we will surely find your prince on the beach." Oh no, not again. I thought irritatingly. "I am better off single and we are not going anywhere." I said firmly. "I am on my way." Jessica answered back and hung up before I could argue more. I eventually dragged myself out of bed. Bleary eyed, I made my way to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face.

I looked in my closet and on purpose chose the beige coloured, thin top that Jessica despised. Just imagining her tiny nose wrinkle in disgust at my choice of clothes brought a huge grin on my face. I am not giving up so easily, I thought resolutely. As soon as I landed at the airport one week before and Jessica got to know that I am still single, she has made it her responsibility that she finds me a suitable guy. We have gone to uncountable places ranging from different malls to gym and fortunately, she still hasn't found the right one for me. Although I knew luck won't help me for long, I was hoping for the best. I quickly combed my long, black hair, applied sun block cream and rushed downstairs. "Hey Mom, I am going to the beach with Jess." I said planting a kiss on her cheeks. "I hope you find the shiniest pearl there honey." Mom replied teasingly. "Mom, I thought you were on my side." I said irritatingly. She laughed in response and the doorbell rang. "Bye Mom, wish me luck." I said as I walked towards the door with my shoulders drooped and a scowl on my face.

Jessica waved enthusiastically from her red convertible BMW and looked absolutely stunning with her blonde hair tied in a bun. "Come on, get in missy," she said cheerfully. The early summer shone brightly, and the birds chirped happily as if asking me to join them and sing the summer song. I started to feel a little optimistic and jumped in her car. "Jessica, it's the last time we are going for boy hunting and its better if we enjoy our summers" I said with finality. "Wow, someone is burning like the scorching summer sun." She replied ignoring my point. I turned on the radio, started singing with the singer and paid no heed to whatever Jessica was saying. "Oh my God Fiona, What on Earth are you wearing? We are going to the beach and not to someone's memorial," she said lowering down the volume. Finally, something to dampen her soaring spirits, I thought triumphantly and remained silent. The beach was now visible on the left side of the road and after another ten minute drive; we got off from the car.

The blue sea was tranquil, its surface as smooth as glass, that reflected the beautiful summer sky. I walked along the sandy beach with Jessica, and felt the wet sand soft and moist between my toes which was better than any massage or treatment for the travel-weary soles of my feet. The cool, salty breeze coupled with the sound of the waves crashing at the shore soon made me forget everything and I was secretly thanking Jessica for this glorious day, but not for long. "Hey Fiona, Look there at that guy in blue shirt. He is cute and he is also looking at us." Jessica exclaimed. "No Jess, he is just probably enjoying the view and he looks a bit old" I responded uninterestedly. Children were collecting sea shells, some were building sand castles while adults were simply lying down on the sand and soaking up the sun. "I am going to get water from the restaurant up there. Do you need something?" I asked Jessica. "No, and return quickly," she replied.

I took my water bottle from the counter, paid the bill and quietly sat in the corner looking over the beach. I could see Jessica flirting with one of the lifeguards and amusingly thought she was here to find me someone and it looks like she has found someone herself. I decided to stroll at the beach and left the restaurant. When I was half way to the beach, I looked at my finger and realized that I have dropped my mom's silver ring in the restaurant. I hastily rush back to the restaurant and frantically started searching for my ring when an extremely handsome man politely inquired, "Are you searching for this ring?" My mouth went dry, my stomach began to tingle and a shiver ran down my spine. No man has had this effect on me in a long time. His jaw line was sharp, his eyelashes thick, his body toned and his dimple stole my heart. "Yes, thank you." I replied smilingly slightly and at the same time cursed myself for dressing horrendously. "So enjoying the lovely day?" he asked. Soon we began talking and I started feeling relaxed .My" Summer Romance" has commenced, Thanks to Jess, I thought elatedly.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Aug 17, 2013   #2
I looked in my closet and on purpose chose the beige coloured, thin top that Jessica despised.

I looked into my closet and let my hands pick the beige colored thin top, the one which Jessica used to hate, on purpose to annoy her.

Just imagining her tiny nose wrinkle in disgust at my choice of clothes brought a huge grin on my face.

.... nice one :D

As soon as I landed at the airport one week before and Jessica got to know that I am still single, she has made it her responsibility that she finds me a suitable guy

.... The first part of this sentence gives a bit confusion... airport, one week ? Do they really matter for this story?
At our very first meeting at the airport Jessica came to know that I am still single. From that point on wards, she has made it her responsibility to find a suitable partner for me.


Home / Writing Feedback / Write the short opening chapter to a novel called A Summer Romance.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳