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Write a paragraph ( 40 - 50 words ) telling your feeling about a traffic accident happened



ledungmi 1 / -  
Sep 15, 2016   #1
Yesterday, after five subjects at school, I felt so tired and hungry. So, I wanted to go home quickly. Because I was in hurried, I rode my bike so fast. Suddenly, a traffic accident happened, it made all people and me frightened. Fortunately, It didn't happened to me and I felt so lucky. I think that it is the most frightening experience in my life.

MingWaiS - / 1  
Sep 15, 2016   #2
Because I was in hurry
... it made all people and I frightened.
I think that it was the most frightening ...
kiki23 37 / 58  
Sep 15, 2016   #3
Hi! I have some advice for you:

Avoid the repetition of "I" and add some conjunctions to make your writing or speech more subtle

For example:

After having five subjects at school, I felt so tired and hungry. Those reasons made me ride the cycle faster than it should be. All of a sudden, a shocking accident frightening all of the people including me happened. I am so lucky that it is not happen to me and it is obviously the most frightening event in my life.


Home / Writing Feedback / Write a paragraph ( 40 - 50 words ) telling your feeling about a traffic accident happened
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