A writting task 1 about some changes in an area

The graph depicts the current Norbition industrial area and the orgarnized future development of the town.
First of all, It is immediately obvious that the town of Norbition has a lot of factories along the street. Moreover, in the north of the town, there is a river which goes from the west to the east, with a farmland located exactly above the river.

In the planned future development, the town has a variety of noticeable changes. The circle located in the middle of the town will have a new road that goes across the river to a housing area with farmland will be changed a little more to the left of the town. Furthermore, the town will become a residential area due to the increasing of housing places, a stores as well as Medical centre that located around the ring of the town. Not only that, but by that time in the future, Schools and playground will have been built in the East of the region.

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  Industrialarea.png
  

Incorrect image identifier. This is a map illustration, not a graph. this mistake in image reference will affect your TA, C+C and GRA scores negatively. Specially since the error was done in the summary section.

If you are not going to have a 2nd reference in the same paragraph, you should not say "First of all". When you use that reference, it means you will have at least 2 more references that require the numerical ordinal for reference separation. This is going to affect your GRA score.

You have not done a good job of describing the existing location. This means you have a paragraph that will receive a failing mark because you did not fully develop the report and analysis. The essay, based on the existing errors, may not get a passing score.