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Writting Task 1 the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in ten years


arisandy14 7 / 11 1  
Sep 15, 2016   #1
The data of comparison of energy production in France were depicted in pie chart during ten years.

Overall, most the components of energy production such as gas, coal, and nuclear experienced the various rises moderately. On the other hand, only did petro undergo the substantial drop whereas the production of it was big enough.

The biggest production of energy was presented by gas approximately less than a third in 1995 and it rose slightly more than 30 percent in 2005. In the same time, the growth was also described by coal from almost 30 percent at the first time to be more than less than a third. Following this, nuclear standing at one in twenty in 1995 surged to be more than one in ten in 2005. In addition, other showed an increase markedly about 5 percent during a decade.

When the major energy production illustrated an upward trend, the different position was shown by petro. Instead, It plunged considerably approximately 10 percent during a decade, whereas in 1995 it was almost same figure as gas having the enormous rise.




akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Sep 16, 2016   #2
Hi Shandy..
I am delighted to read your writing. In this moment, let me help you to finalize yours. These are my notes. I hope you are able to deal with them.


France were depicted

IS DEPICTED IN TWO PIE CHARTS..
you are supposed to use simple present because you explain a fact.

On the other hand, only did petro undergo

MEANWHILE, ONLY THE PERCENTAGE OF PETROLEUM
In the writing, you have to harness proper linking word to make it interesting. Apart from that, keep in your mind that each paragraph has to have at least 3 sentences. I suggest you include the overview in the introduction paragraph. It will seem more systematic.

The biggest HIGHEST (avoid using the biggest in the writing task 1 because it generally is written in the task2 ) production of energy was presented ...

... illustrated an upward trend, the different position REVERSE TREND was shown by petro. Instead, It plunged considerably TO approximately 10 percent (...) it was almost THE same figure as THE gas having the enormous rise.

Overall. Good Job
Keep spirit
Happy Writing
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