Ielts Writting Part 2: In many city, the population is increasing...

Topic:
In many city, the population is increasing. Some say that the urbanization process denies us knowing our neighbors, and this causes a loss of community sense. What is the main problem with this? What measures can be taken to overcome this?

coherent measures necessary

Essay:
Many people believe that the growth of population sizes in many metropolises has attributed to the disappearance of social coherency from our community. This essay will let us take a more detailed look at the problem and suggest some feasible solutions.

To begin with, there are some plausible explanations that appear to justify leaving community spirit in ruins. Firstly, the exponential development in almost technological aspects has brought enormous influences on the lifestyle section of human being. For instance, thanks to the advance of computer science and wireless internet connection, many people are able to cultivate constantly skills, latest knowledge as well as forge an online "virtual bond" as easy as falling off a log. As a result, they would feel deprived of leisure pursuits and fail to communicate with surrounding neighbors outside. Secondly, urban development has been leading the increase of violent and criminal behaviors among the public like mugging, robbery, vagrancy and so on which are considered as major culprits for driving people to keep a wary eye on strangers due to their constant fear of being harmed, deceived and tricked.

In an attempt to prevent this problem from becoming aggravated, effective strategies should be implemented to boost community sense and help people live in social harmony together. Firstly, municipal authorities in residential areas play an important role to set up propaganda campaigns which are stimulating citizens to step out from their private zones into communal areas and get started to get acquainted with other people. Secondly, social crime prevention, is a critical approach by the security governance boards, should be strengthened and introduced widely to the public so that they can feel secure and safe to participate social gatherings and occasions, plus, eradicate a sense of alienation of our generation.

In conclusion, it is not waving a magic wand that this problem can be dealt with. It is time individuals and government came up with coherent measures to create an open-minded world where people can exchange courtesies of sharing values, ideologies and ideas pleasantly.

(337 words)

Trang, The aim of the IELTS Task 2 essay is not to impress the examiner with your knowledge of English words, which by the way, you are not using properly in this essay but are only saying the words in the hopes of impressing the examiner. The aim of the essay is to prove that you have the ability to think logically in English and also, write coherently in the same language. Coherence means that the person reading your essay can understand what you have to say in one quick pass of the paragraphs you have written. The highest achievement you can have with your Task 2 essay is to have the reader process your essay without any "stressful" encounters with your sentences and paragraphs.

When writing the Task 2 essay, the best thing to remember is to "KISS" it. Keep It Short Silly !" Stay within the 250 word minimum requirement, use short sentences that actually say something without being as verbose as you are now ( most of your sentences will fail in terms of coherence and cohesiveness because of it), and focus on simply explaining yourself efficiently in each paragraph. Don't fall below the 3 sentence minimum, but don't go over the 5 sentence maximum per paragraph either. Always produce 5 paragraphs composed of the following:

1. Introduction
2. Body 1
3. Body 2
4. Body 3
5. Concluding summary

Bear in mind that the opening statement and the concluding summary are used to score you on your task accuracy skills. When you do not properly restate the prompt based on information presented, when you are so concentrated on focusing on your lexical resource skills, that you forget to focus on the discussion itself, as you were prone to in this essay, then you ultimately fail the test. I cannot stress the following enough because this is the most common problem with the Task 2 essay test takers:

1. Do not discuss more than one idea per paragraph in order to avoid under developed, little explained, and run-on sentences for which major points are deducted in relevant criteria considerations;

2. Always summarize the concluding paragraph using aforementioned information, a prompt restatement, and other data worth summarizing within 5 sentences. Do not go all wordy in the paragraph, presenting new and additional information. That leaves your essay without a conclusion and rather, creates an open ended presentation of the discussion for which points will also be deducted.

Thank you very much Holt, I really got your points and understand it. I will try to do better. But may I have a question, if I encounter a essay with two views, how can i present the body with 3 paragraphs, i mean normally, i use 2 paragarh for each of idea