[IELTS WTITING 1] The pie charts give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy

The charts illustrate the percentage of three different age groups in two countries Yemen and Italy in 2000 and the projections for 2050.

Generally speaking, there was more percentage of young people in both countries in 2000 whereas more people getting older in 2050.

In 2000, almost the whole population of Yemen consist of people under the age of 60 with 96.4%, and only 3.6% of the elder who has more than 60 years old. While in Italy, nearly one-fourth of the population (24.1%) is elder who has 60 years old plus and another three-fourths of Yemen is below the age of 60.

In 2050, the Yemen population is predicted to increase in the group ages 15 to 59 years old, more than 60 years old, and decrease in the group age of under 15 years old with 57.3%, 5.7%, and 37.0 % respectively. Besides, there will be a significant rise in the proportion of Italy's population of the group age 60 years old plus from 24.1% to 42.3%, and a fall in the percentage of Italian who is below 60 years old.

• 
  piechart2.png
  

The writer should stop using the placement holder method of writing the summary overview + trending statement. He must practice writing using the individual sentence method that covers one topic per sentence while using proper connecting and transition words to connect all of his thoughts in one paragraph. This is not present in his current writing, a reason why his summary and trending presentations tend to be more on the confusing and difficult to track side of the essay. Next time, utilize the full 5 sentence allowance for the summary overview by using the combined writing method.

When indicating the type of image, there should also be an indicator of the number of images. This is to help the reader develop a full and imaginable idea of how the reports might take place in the succeeding paragraphs. Never forget that the measurement method / indicator is an integral part of the summary presentation and should be presented alongside the age range index. He should also use specific image identifiers to create a more professional / academic presentation. Indicating that the images presented are only charts does not help the reader identify the image type, which is used to differentiate the information provided. By saying that pie charts are presented, the writer will achieve more clarity towards achieving the task accuracy requirements.

I think the paragraphs need to be connected better, the sentences are way too simple, apart from that, the grammar and vocabulary usage is good