Every year several languages die out.
Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Each year, a number of languages fade into extinction. Some people believe that it does not matter since it brings ease to life. I strongly disagree. In my opinion, the trend is anything but insignificant considering the protection of cultural heritage and the purpose of communication.
A language is not merely about letters, words and pronunciations but about a culture. Its dying out means that the culture vanishes, which can be a tragic loss. For instance, if the Chinese language was wiped out, the accumulated knowledge and history of would be lost. No longer could people gain a glimpse of China's five thousand years of civilization and draw on the treasure trove of art, science and technology to make the world a better place to live.
As to communication, language barrier is admittedly a major obstacle. If humans ended up speaking the same language, people from all around the world would lead an easier life as they could communicate with ease. However, communication is meant to exchange different ideas, thoughts, opinions and feelings, while people who speak the same language tend to have similar values and point of views. Fewer languages means that people have more difficulties benefiting from the diversity of thoughts, which is a source of creativity and inspiration.
In conclusion, I am in strong disagreement that the disappearance of several languages every year carries little importance because of the apparent convenience the trend brings to life. It makes it almost impossible to carry on the cultures the vanished languages represent. People also find it more difficult to learn from diverse thoughts by communication.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,230 3652
Your restatement is incomplete. You do not have a reference to how fewer languages will make life easier globally. You only say that it brings ease to life. So there is a missing reference point from the original. You have a solid thesis statement presentation though so that will help pull up the TA score. You should however, make sure to represent all discussion points, keywords, and data in your restatements. Do not miss out on a single restatement presentation because your preliminary TA score will depend on it.
Consider your discussion in terms of language history, you claim that if a language is wiped out, so will its knowledge and history. However, most of these are being translated to English, French, Spanish, and other languages these days. So does the culture really die? Or does it just change languages? Consider the opposition to your opinion when writing and try to defend against such counter arguments, just to prove your opinion is truly the correct and valid one. It will add to the clarity, coherence, and cohesiveness of your discussion paragraphs. It would be better if you learn to outline your discussions first, pick the simplest opinions that will not require too much of a defense or discussion so that you do not have to overthink your presentation.
Your first opinion is a bit distracting and wide in discussion scope. Try to avoid such presentations. Your second discussion topic deviated from the original discussion because you suddenly shifted to "language barrier is an admittedly major obstacle". Language barrier is not the topic here, it is the extinction of native tongues. So this is more of a prompt deviation. However, the last sentence, could have been a more appropriate discussion topic as it refers to fewer languages and how it applies to the relationship, learning, and knowledge of people.
Thanks. To be frank, I am afraid I can't write a satisfied article on the topic even in my native language. I have no idea about "language dying off" actually. Still, I will try my best to improve my writing.
As adding one comment in terms of Holt's comment, I can see there is one possibility to correct. For example, write about a scenario when the media only gives news of translated version, it could be convenient, but probably it makes a loss of accurate meaning. That was my idea.