Essay on " Every year several languages die out"; 'but still we manage our life'

Hello
I am writing an essay for first time in this forum. Please check and give your feedback .
Every Year several languages die out. Some People think that this is not important because life will be easier if there were fewer languages in the world.

Over last century we have seen lot of languages have vanished from this world, but still we manage our life. People have adopted new language for communication. It is very disappointing that we cannot save the languages from dying because some people think it is not so important life will be easier with fewer language.

I have a mix opinion on this topic, when we are moving towards globalization to many languages will lead to more confusion. If we have lesser language the interaction and communication and understanding one another will be easy. In today's world lot of people migrate to another city or country for the search of job and living. In that case the migrated people will adopt them self to the language of new place. It will be easy for them understand each other. For example English has become number one business language.

We should not ignore the negative side of this issue . If language die along with it the cultural around it will also die. It is not required the native language has to die for the growth of the common language. In India we have lot of regional language to communicate but we have adopted English and Hindi as official commutation language. One nation can preserve their own language by speaking in their native language who can understand it small group and also use the language understood by majority of people

To conclude we should not allow any language to die it is the part of world heritage. people will have emotions attached to their languages . Based on the importance of the feelings and people and culture we shooed save language from dying.

First, you are most welcome to the EF! :) A few admin requests for you - You should open your essays in the most appropriate forum and in this case it is Writing Feedback (this was moved from Graduate to Writing Feedback) Also, include the purpose of your essay (e.g. TOEFL, IELTS, GRE etc.) in the title so that you can earn more meaningful feedbacks.

Last, include your prompt in the essay so that we can understand what your prompt exactly want from you.

Hellooo...,


is this you mean? One nation can preserve their own language by speaking in their native language. As a result, occidental people can perceive this language.


is this you mean? In India, we have some local vernacular as the languages spoken, but we have adopted English and Hindi as official languages when speaking to family back home.

Thanks

thank you for feed back.
I am writing my IELTS exams.
I want to know where are the points i can improve my writing. what score i will get with this presentation.

The first feed back I meant was we can preserve the local language by speaking locally. when we have to communicate officially we can use different language. is this correct.

In your second observation .
In India we have various local language but we have adopted Hindi and English as our official language. this was what i meant to say.

Reading good published writings is the key to improve your writing


I strongly suggest you to follow Dumi's approach above. Also, please kindly read the two links (Sample Essays) provided


the best way to measure your writing is to compare and understand what the IELTS Writing band descriptors (Task 2) say, consisting of Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

I have a mix opinion on this topic
could I say " I have a mixed opinion on this topic" ?

Yes, you can say that, but then you need to justify this stance in your body paragraphs. What you should do is that take one side of the argument in one body para and give your reason to justify your opinion and then support it with an example. Then in the other body para, talk about the other side of the argument with reasons and examples. You can follow the same structure we have recommended with such slight deviations.