Unanswered [4]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Years ago, living in a small community was a common thing. Now the world has urbanized.



swr10 10 / 14  
Aug 29, 2016   #1
In the past most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were advantages and disadvantages of living in small community?

Introduction

Recently, the world has urbanized. Most of the world population live in cities. This condition is different than years ago where most of the world population live in rural areas that are usually in the form of small communities. In my perspective, positive effects of live in small community are strong social ties, high reciprocity, and great tolerance that will aid them in achieving social goals together. Meanwhile, the negative effects are high interdependence and limited freedom of expressions which can restrict progress and success of each member of the community.

Conclusion

In conclusion, live in small community provides merit which would redound to reach common aims, such as stronger bond, higher exchange and greater toleration rather than live in big society. However, it presents demerit which could obstruct attainment them caused by high dependence among members and finite liberty. I would suggest that people who live in small community could enhance social activities that are beneficial and cut actions that are hinder of achievement.

eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Aug 29, 2016   #2
Overall, these are well-written paragraphs. Not only that, you have answered what is being asked in the prompt. Just make sure that you write them due to time constraint.

Recently, the world has urbanized.

This is a grammatically incorrect sentence, since the word urbanized. is a transitive verb, meaning that this verb needs a corresponded object.

years ago where most of the world population live in rural areas that are

The time duration is in the past time. Writing such a sentence with past tense is more acceptable. A closer look at this:
years ago where most of the world population WHO LIVED in rural areas that WERE

positive effects of live in small community are

this experiences positive effects on people living in small community such as ...

the negative effects are high interdependence and limited freedom of expressions which can restrict progress and success of each member of the community can be the detrimental effects that should be taken into consideration .

live in small community provides merit

Living in small community brings considerable merits (always add more adjectives. see the red one)

rather than live in big society

rather than LIVING in larger society

However, it presents demerit which could obstruct

The reverse would be true as this could obstruct

Hope this helps :D
A heap of luck


Home / Writing Feedback / Years ago, living in a small community was a common thing. Now the world has urbanized.
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳