Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Young People are Encouraged to travel or work - IELTS



falks405 4 / 9  
Dec 31, 2012   #1
Young People are Encourage to travel or work for one year after high school and before university studies. Write advantages and disadvantages of this matter.

Recently, many students would have a one year break between high school and university studies. This decision they accept individually in order to travel or find a part-time job so that they could get some life experience.

Firstly, I think Students can have gained a lot of benefit from travelling or working somewhere for one year. For instance, they could learn another culture or place, where they would continue studying later. Moreover, if learners would have a job at break time they can get many hopeful and interesting about specialty and profession so as to change or improve their skills. Also, students can earn some additional many for others studies and they might have been financial independent from parent or relatives.

Secondly, in compare, pupils can lose skills and habits in studying courses or they would prefer have money rather than continue improving their education. For example, they can used to get a salary or they would have a rest because of studying require periodically hard work. Studying is a difficult process and learners need to do some activities anyway even they would not do it.

To conclusion, choosing free time for one year is a personal decision each of student made by them. It could bring some advantages to them such as life experience and money and some drawbacks like losing interest in studying and improving personal skills.

regards
Leo

colin 23 / 47  
Dec 31, 2012   #2
Secondly, in compare, pupils can lose skills and habits in studying courses or they would prefer have money rather than continue improving their education.
==>>Secondly, pupils may lose of motivation and ability to learn. By contrast, they would prefer to earn money rather than continue furthering their education.

Studying is a difficult process and learners need to do some activities anyway even they would not do it.
==>>Studying is a difficult process so learners have to work hard.

Your usage of or seems wrong.


Home / Writing Feedback / Young People are Encouraged to travel or work - IELTS
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳