Should young people choose their professions, or should their parents choose for them?
In recent years, society places too much emphasis on people having a profession. Choosing a career is an extremely important decision that has influence to individual's future. Some people believe that further children's profession should be chosen by parents. However, I personally argue that young children know best their natural skills and it is better to be selected by them....
Hi! My edits and suggestions are below,
In recent years, society places(has placed) too much emphasis on people having a profession(< This is an opinion when you placed "too" make sure you let this be known) . Choosing a career is an extremely important decision that has (an) influence (on an) to individual's future. Some people believe that further children's profession(s) should be chosen by parents. However, I personally argue that young children know best their natural skills and it is better to be selected by them. <I like this last sentence, it states your argument..
Basically, parent's behaviour plays an important role for children future. A recent study by Psychology Department showed the (that) parental controlling has (a) significant influence in their children's career development career decision. As it can be seen, children will need parents supportingto make ( have a) more satisfying career, ( and make better) choices later in life.
In addition, children might have less information and experience about what (is happening) happen in the world now. (Please add data here about how children having less information affects their thoughts about their careers)
( This beginning matches to second paragraph) Result shows( can you specify which results or where you found this data?), adolescent who have been begun their career selection, did not have high-other thinking and divergent thinking to see their future. As a result, most of this learned unconsciously where children and teenagers absorb their parent attitudes and expectations of them as they grow up particular in career decision.
However, a parents guide ( guidance) is not always being a part of important ( a positive and important) influence for (their) children('s) life.
Firstly, some parents( do not have) have not much information about (the) deep-skill(s) what (their may) children have. For example, art skill of children is not always showed for their (by) parents, although it is possible as reference getting a job in art occupation. Secondly, the natural talent of children is not being inheritance (always inherited) by parents continually. The instance shows< This is confusing>, a famous people such as singer, starts to develop their children skill for giving popularity profession as well as themselves, beside the children have not these skills( <Please revise this sentence ). Furthermore, children exactly (can)have deep feeling(s) about their knowledge. A sport skill that is felt by children will always develop as soon as possible to be mastering. Therefore, it is better if children have opportunity to choose their profession based on natural talent to gain a good result.
The aforementioned evidence that although parental pressure have significant influence for children's vocational development, parents should give a chance for children ( a chance) to selecting their own best professions. Where possible, adolescent should consider the parental advice as a facilitator in professional growth.
Hi! You have some great points! You have your points laid out with a good argument. Some of the grammatical errors made it difficult to read, but no worries! I have given you some edits and suggestions above to help you, Your third paragraph I gave you an idea for revision above.
Good luck on your next revision!