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Do young people today make good use of their leisure time?


sppanda 1 / 4  
May 4, 2011   #1
Do young people today make good use of their leisure time? Or do they spend too much time watching television and playing video games, instead of taking part in more productive activities?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.


To a certain extend I agree that some of young people today use effectively their leisure time in productive activities. However, I also think that others spend hours on watching television and playing video games.

On the one hand, young people spending too much time on non-useful activities like watching television and playing computer games has tended to increase recently. First of all, the young are attracted by television. There are various movie and entertainment channels like HBO, Cinemax and Disney Channel lead to the increase number of viewers, particularly for children. Some parents also encourage them to watch these programs because they afraid of danger of outdoor activities. Traffic and crime may threaten their children. In addition, the introduction of many kinds of games on computers such as online and 3D games affects the young. They only stay at home and use their own computers or laptops with the Internet. Especially, the cost of these ways is low and acceptable.

On the other hand, it is true that some young people enjoy take part in productive activities when they have leisure time. They feel funny and happy in community. They can make more new friends and expand their knowledge. Furthermore, joining sporting clubs greatly benefits the young. on maintaining health and keeping fitness. For example, tennis or football clubs require the members to move and practice. Therefore, they can maintain their health and keep fitness well. Besides, these activities help them to prevent diseases.

In conclusion, in recent years, although some young people have tended to relax by watching television and playing computer games as not good use of their spare time, others are likely to attend in productive activities. Despite of having the encouragement from parents and community, the number of the young spending hours on non-useful may increase significantly.

I really need help because i dont know my writing is right or wrong. Is it off topic? Please give me some ideas if it is wrong.

Frank zhao 5 / 10  
May 4, 2011   #2
Dear sppanda
I am not sure whether it is fine to hold a neutral opinion for this question.
For the structure, I think that it could be better to separate the second paragraph into two parts: one for the young people spending too much time on non-useful activities, the other for the young people enjoy take part in productive activities.

Regards,
Frank.
OP sppanda 1 / 4  
May 4, 2011   #3
Dear Frank,

Thank you for your feedback.
Can I change the topic sentence in the 1st body paragraph?

On the one hand, young people spending too much time on non-useful activities like watching television and playing computer games has tended to increase recently.

Is it ok?

Regards,
sppanda.
student7 5 / 14  
May 5, 2011   #4
Actually, I found that your argument is bit off topic.

The topic is "do young people today MAKE GOOD USE of their leisure time".
That is, you have to tell examiner that wether people do make good use ,
instead of why people use the leisure time in that way.
The reason you list in the second paragraph seems to be explain WHY people use the time in such way.
The whole paragraph tells nothing about whether it is a good use.
As I see in the first paragraph, you prefer to agree with both of the opinions, but I do not see any supporting idea about "However, I also think that others spend hours on watching television and playing video games.".

The topic is asking you "do people use their time in a good way?",
not asking you "people use what way to spent their time?"
The former needs you to judge the pros and cons, while the later needs you to list the method.
OP sppanda 1 / 4  
May 5, 2011   #5
Oh, thank Student7 so much.
Your feedback is really great for me!
Can I replace these ideas by others below?

-On the one hand, some of young people have made great use of their free time.
+ They attend social activities like charities and voluntary organizations.

- These bring huge benefits for community
- For example, the students in some universities collected old books, clothes and food to assist poor people and the areas destroyed by natural disasters.

+ Sporting clubs include various young members.
- Taking part in these clubs has positive effects on maintaining health and keeping fitness.

- On the other hand, the young spend too much waste time on non productive activities.
- For instance, in Vietnam, the children tend to play computer games at the internet service rooms, especially to play online games.
- They watch some entertainment programs during hours like HBO, Cinemax and Disney Channel.
- Their funds of free time are not used effectively because of negative impacts on health.
- Lack of outdoor activities eases their communicative abilities and social relations.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
May 6, 2011   #6
These sentences look pretty good!

I'll make a few changes:

These bring huge benefits for the community. For example, the students in some ...

Taking part in these clubs has positive effects with regard to maintaining health and keeping fitness.

- On the other hand, the young spend too much waste too much time on non-productive activities.

For instance, in Vietnam, the children tend to play computer games at the internet Internet service rooms, especially to...

the: ... and the Disney Channel.
Their funds of free time are is not used effectively because of negative impacts on health. ?? This last part does not make sense.

:-)
Lack of outdoor activities eases their communicative abilities and social relations.
OP sppanda 1 / 4  
May 15, 2011   #7
Thank for your answer!
Great! :-)


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