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IELTS essay : Young people move to cities


gabbie 9 / 19 3  
Dec 22, 2013   #1
Topic : in many countries, young people leave rural areas to study or work in cities. What do you think are reason of this? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, there are increasing numbers of young people from the countryside moving to cities in search of jobs and educational opportunities. Personally, I think it has some drawbacks that will be discussed in this essay together with some reasons about this.

To begin with, the major cause that leads to urban migration of young adults is that cities often offer more well-paid jobs and study chances compared to rural areas. Obviously, many large companies and universities often locate in cities which are hailed as promising lands to develop their career. Therefore they move to big cities to pursue academic career and find jobs in order to have a higher standard of living. For example, if a gradate stays in the city after leaving his college and seeks a job with good salary instead of returning his village to do farm work, he could perhaps buy a house or his own car after a short time.

However, this phenomenon sometimes poses several negative consequences. There can be no doubt that the burgeoning number of young adults from the countryside flocking to cities gives rise to overpopulation in cities. As a result, cities cannot provide adequate space for thousands of dwellers that might lead to poor housing conditions and sanitation. Additionally, it might put strain on the environment. If there are more people in the cities, there would be large numbers of vehicles on the road, which causes air pollution.

In conclusion, young people tend to study or work in urban areas since these provide them many educational opportunities and career potentials. In my opinion, however, I do not approve of this trend due to negative effects such as low quality of life and affecting the environment.

montezuma64 4 / 5 1  
Dec 23, 2013   #2
IELTS essays come with a word limit so watch out for that.

Overall, your essay is good since you made your point.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Dec 24, 2013   #3
Personally, I think it has some drawbacks that will be discussed in this essay together with some reasons about this.

.... I feel the latter part is not necessary .... it is implied and therefore does not add not any value to your essay.

study chances

study opportunities
To begin with, the major cause that leads to urban migration of young adults to urban areas is that cities often offer more well-paid jobs and better opportunities for study chances compared to what rural areas do offer.

Obviously, many large companies and universities often locate in cities which are hailed asprovide promising lands to develop their career opportunities.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Dec 24, 2013   #4
However, this phenomenon sometimes poses several negative consequences.

However, this phenomenon may cause several negative consequences.

There can be no doubt that the burgeoning number of young adults from the countryside flocking to cities gives rise to overpopulation in cities.

"There can be no doubt" - this unnecessarily complicate your sentence. It's not a good thing in writing. Clearer you present your idea, the more you can impress the reader. There is no point in showing off your vocabulary knowledge if the clarity of your sentences decreases.

There is no doubt that the number of young adults moving to the cities from countryside is ever on increase.


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