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IELTS; Youngsters have got little spare time and they are much under of pressure to study hard.



amour /  
May 4, 2016   #1
Hi friends, it would be great if you give me feedback and assess IELTS score how much likely will i get with this essay, thank you kindly :)

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a pressure to work hard on their studies. What do you think the cause of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In several countries, youngsters have got little spare time and they are much under of pressure to study hard. There are some causes of this. However, some possible solutions could be taken into account to address this issue.

All of parents in this world desire to facilitate their children with the best education. They are proud to regard their children make good to be accepted in the esteem school or university, and pass the test in the first-rate. Quite a few parents force their children to focus on their studies and not let them relish the leisure time. On the other hand, they are not sensible that their children wear out. Apart from this, the schools in the UK for instance, which conduct many tests on purpose. This is their way to monitor teaching standards and encourage the parents to choose the best school based on result of the student's test. As a consequence, the pupils become strain and lack of self-esteem if the result score is under average.

Turning to the possible solutions, the government had better to be acquainted the schools with the new system education, which invite its pupils more enjoy to study, rather than put them in menial examination. In addition, the parents are also supposed to aware that their children are not a robot, which ought to study hard every time. However, youngsters need the liberty to relish their time with their peers to interact extensively and be accustomed with the ways of the world. Hence, they are able to develop optimally.

In conclusion, many parents and teachers are not realize that they tire their children out with force them to study hard. It is true that, providing the best education is one of the ways to foster them to be success ones in the future. However, they need amusement to enjoy their life to out of drill both in school and home.

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May 4, 2016   #2
youngsters have [got] little spare time don't use got in formal writing just say have instead
are much under [of] pressure to study hard of is not used here
All [of] parents in this world
They are proud to regard their children make good to be accepted in the esteem school or university I cant understand this sentence


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