It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent in art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative or practical subjects for which they may have more aptitude.
To what extent to do you agree or disagree?
It is generally claimed that youngsters with lower artistic skill are not mandatory to engage in art syllabus, while others suggest that they are better to focus on other experimental subjects, depending on their capability. I personally would agree that it is rewarding to children if they concentrate on particular subject based on their ability due to expanding children's cognition in a specific field and affecting to improve their achievement.
To begin with, taking part in art classes in formal education is usually argued to be not necessary of students who are absence with artistic skill. One of the main reasons is because it is more beneficial to sharpen their capacity in specific subject rather than wasting time by learning a vast range of lessons which they lack of ability. For instance, when I was in elementary school, I decided to get a place in musical instrument class. At the time I did not obtain any improvement and ability how to play music instrument. As I was not able to create good rhythm, my teacher suggested me to get involved in particular subjects in science since I am capable in of this field. As a result, by focusing in science area, I acquire several achievements. Therefore, it is immensely clear that it is important to sharpen our ability in order to boost our skills.
Furthermore, another reason why students should follow their passion is, as they will obtain an excellent grade in their study. It is owing to the fact that students are not put too much pressure to learn in the class and they tend to feel more relax by learning the subjects they love. A current study from Harvard University found that students in primary and secondary school in the United States were easily to master other experimental subjects after rejecting the art class. This is because their mind has been set to only concentrate and focus on their smartness.
In conclusion, it is better for pupils to learn intensively in the area which they have capability of it such as science or other practical subject to achieve more proficiency, improve their school grade and sharpen their capability.
Hi Aulia, Welcome to EF! Here are my suggestions!
It seems like your wording and sentences are too complicated, which makes your ideas harder to understand. Instead, try to keep your wording and sentences simple so that your reader won't have trouble seeing your points.
Also, your argument is kind of hard to understand. Are you saying students should take subjects they enjoy or subjects they are skilled at? Or both? I think it should be clearer if you mean one over the other or both. Sometimes you discuss ability/ talent, and sometimes you discuss enjoyment. They are not necessarily the same thing and shouldn't be treated as the same thing. Having abilities or talant in a subject doesn't mean it's something you enjoy doing, and vice versa (enjoying a subject doesn't always mean you are skilled at it- especially when it comes to art).
It is generally claimedbelieved that youngsterschildren with lower artistic skill are not mandatoryshould not be forced to engage in art syllabus classes. In fact,while others suggest that they areit is better to focus on other experimental subjects, depending on their capabilityability and preference.
I personally would agree that it is more rewarding tofor children if they are able to concentrate on a particular subject based on their ability.They will be able to learn and achieve more in a class they are talented in.
To begin with, Taking part in art classes in formal education is usually argued to be notun necessary offor students who are absence withlacking in artistic skill.
One of the main reasons is because It is more beneficial to sharpen their capacity in a specific subject rather than wasting time by learning a vast range of lessonssubjects in which they lack of ability.
For instance, when I was in elementary school, I decided to get a placeplay in a musical instrument class. At the time, I did not obtain any improvement and ability how to play music instrumenthave an ability to play or improve my instrument playing .
As I was not able to create good rhythm, my teacher suggested me tothat I get involved in particular subjects insuch as science, since I am capable in of this field.
As a result, by focusing inon science area , I was able to acquire several achievements. Therefore, it is immensely clear that it is important to sharpen our ability in subjects we enjoy in order to boost our skills.
Furthermore, another reason why students should follow their passion is,becauseas they will obtain an excellentbetter grades in their study. It is owing to the fact that Students are not putunder too much pressure to learn in the class and they tend to feel more relaxed by learning the subjects they love.
A current study from Harvard University found that students in primary and secondary school in the United States were more easily able to master other experimental subjects after rejecting the art class. This is because their mind has been set to only concentrate and focus on their smartness.
In conclusion, it is better for pupilsstudents to learn intensively in the area which they have capability of it, such as science or other practical subjects.Doing so will help them to achieve more proficiency, improve their school grades and sharpen their capabilityabilities.
HI Aulia, below is another take on your essay.
- lower artistic skills are not
- mandatorymandated to engage in art syllabus, - they areit's better for them - I would personally would
- rewarding tofor children
- if theyto concentrate
- on a particular
- due to expanding,this will expand the children's - and affecting to improvewill influence their achievement.
There you have it Aulia, I believe the above corrections will let you see that there is quiet a few enhancements to be done in your essay and I hope you follow through when you write your revision.
For future writing reference, make sure that you personally review your essay, not necessarily to critique your own work but to somehow see if you understand the overall concept of your work, because if you don't, then how can your readers understand it.
