IELTS [Task2] To what extent do you agree or disagree.
The youth in many countries is employed and unskilled. Compulsory military service is good and necessary.
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In many countries, military attract people to be soldiers by providing much professional training, benefits of salary and so on. I served in the army for a year in Taiwan, but either I or my partners did not learn any useful skills there. My view is that serving compulsorily in the armed forces is bad and not necessary. Here are my reasons.
First of all, the life in the corps is tough. Soldiers are not only losing freedom but also wasting time and talents. Warriors work for 24 hours and sometimes have to follow unreasonable orders. A friend of mine who is good at playing piano prepared to study aboard. In May 2009, when he graduated from a university, receiving the information that he had become a navy. Unfortunately, he is a normal administrator that is a replaceable job in one prospectless company.
Another reason why I disagree with that compulsory military service is good and necessary is that the idea might be dangerous and fatal. In July 2013, for instance, there was a tragedy accident in the army in Taiwan. Hung Chung-Chu whose an army soldier died because of his superior over punishment. Another example, in 2003, the U.S. with other powerful countries sent their servicemen and servicewomen to Iraq, there were over 4500 corpses in the battle.
Some people might claim that salary and welfare are better than other jobs. However, these benefits are established on high-risk missions or works duties. Thus, I do not sacrifice my freedom and life expectancy for working in the forces enforcedly.
Hello Lupin the following is my suggestion:
I served in the army for a year in Taiwan, but either I or my partners did not learn any useful skills there. ->did not acquire adequate practical grounding.
My view is that serving compulsorily in the armed forces is bad and not necessary. -> demanding and full of risk
Here are my reasons.
The general suggestion, in my mind, you would better to select proper words to remark your thought.
Hope that help.
Keep practice ^_^
Hi Lupin_a1315616. I have some corrections for your essay. Feel free to discuss :)
Second Paragraph
A friend of mineMy friend who is good at playing ...
In May 2009, when he graduated from a university, (need a subject)Ireceiving received the information...
... that is a replaceable job in one prospectlessprospect-less company.
Third Paragraph
... there was a tragedy accident in the army in TaiwanTaiwan's army.
Last Paragraph
... on high-risk missions or workswork duties.
... expectancy for working in the forces enforcedly.enforceableforces.
Keep writing
