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IELTS - Youth unemployment issue and what measures can be taken to reduce its level



AlexChow 3 / 7  
Feb 17, 2013   #1
Hi guys, comments are appreciated, also if you were a IELTS examiner how much would you give me for this essay?

A large number of young people are leaving school and can not find a job. What problems will youth unemployment cause for individuals and for society? What measures should be taken to reduce the level of unemployment among young people?

Youth unemployment rate has been regards as one of the most tough problems in most countries. It not only haunts young people who are struggling finding a job, but has a vast and profound impact on societies and states as a whole.

First of all, being unemployed, especially for a long while, could be bring serious frustration to the young people themselves. They may begin to question their abilities and gradually refuse to make further contact with society as a result of being out of work for a long time. If a graduate could not sign any contract a few months after he left school, it is absolutely not beneficial for him to build up self-esteem and take part in social activities as a positive individual. In addition, young people being unemployed also cause a range of problems to a society. For instance, the idle youth may wonder around and causing troubles in communities then end up in jails. Not to mention a considerable amount of money has to be spent in supporting the unemployed.

As for the solutions, governments should take the major responsibility. Creating more jobs through government projects would result in substantial outcome in the short term such as what the US government did during the great recession in the 1930s. In the long run, more stable and healthy economic plans need to be set up by rulers in accordance with the condition of a country, in order to maintain a steady economic grow to save and create more jobs.

All in all, youth unemployment is a great problem deserves serious attention by all governments and individuals, it will not be devastating if governments are able to handle it wisely.

dumi 1 / 6795  
Feb 18, 2013   #2
Youth unemployment rate has been regardsis regarded as one of the most toughtoughest problems in mostmany countries.

If a graduate could not sign any contract a few months after he left school, it is absolutely not beneficial for him to build up self-esteem and take part in social activities as a positive individual.

This is what I suggest for the highlighted part;
.... it is absolutely damaging for his self-esteem and moral that may hamper his positive contribution to the society.

As for the solutions, governments should take the major responsibility

As for the measures, the governments bear the highest responsibility of providing the youth with effective solutions.
Good essay in terms of structure, vocabulary and overall presentation. Good Luck!
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Feb 18, 2013   #3
Youth unemployment rate has been regards as one of the most tough problems in most countries.

Youth unemployment is regarded as one of the biggest problems in some countries.

It not only haunts young people who are struggling finding a job, but has a vast and profound impact on societies and states as a whole.

I do not quite understand what you mean by "states as a whole"... This is what I think you are trying to say..

It not only haunts young people who are struggling to find a job, it also causes a huge problem to the society.

I think you have missed a crucial point here. Most developing countries actually have plenty of job opportunities. It's just that young people are unaware of them. If something could be done to fix this, youth unemployment can be reduced significantly.
OP AlexChow 3 / 7  
Feb 18, 2013   #4
Thank you so much dumi, your expressions are very sophisticated!

Pahan: you are right I should have put more words on measures like graduation programs or internship opportunities for young people, thanks for your advice!
nadrian 3 / 5  
Feb 18, 2013   #5
Youth unemployment rate has been regards as one of the most tough problems in most countries.

I think it will much better to say:

Youth unemployment rate bas been regarded as one of the crucial problem in most countries.


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