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I need to build a personal statement for a foreign Master scholarship

Emmaski2010 1 / 1 1  
Dec 9, 2016   #1
These are the themes I'm expected to write on:
(1) Why you wish to acquire this scholarship
(2) Why you wish to obtain the qualification listed as your choice
(3) How you think you will benefit in terms of your career and personal development from obtaining this scholarship and the resulting qualification once you have returned to youtr home country.

I'm a graduate of Microbiology applying for Sustainable bioenergy and industrial biotechnology for the Master
clementiness - / 2 1  
Dec 9, 2016   #2
1) describe your statements briefly give your schools grades, previous acihvements on sports or arts, and your economic condition. High school gartes will be a big leverage for you.

2) No idea to personal

3) ın my country x, as in many world countries bioenergy is a trend topic to study. İf I would have a chance to have this schollarship it will be a win win situation for both your university and my country.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,519 3442  
Dec 9, 2016   #3
Timilehin, this essay is simple enough to write. It actually just asks for general information from you in order to support your application for the scholarship. The first thing that you have to remember is that you must present the information in essay format and not in outlined, numerical responses. So, let me see if I can point you in the right direction per paragraph.

For the first paragraph, consider the advantages that you will have over other students should you win the scholarship. Consider the objectives of the scholarship foundation and try to relate their interests with yours. Make sure that your desire to win the scholarship is also of personal importance to you for some reason. Don't just discuss the scholarship as "free money to go to school". Go beyond that mindset and think of other, higher relevance reasons that could make your desire to win the scholarship stand out from the rest of the standard response essays the reviewer will be reading.

Questions 1 and 2 are related so you can actually reflect your response to both in a single paragraph. Provided you develop your dual response properly in the essay. You have chosen to study a specific MS program in Microbiology. So consider the reasons why you believe that your career will benefit from the completion of higher studies in this field. Talk about your future plans and how the masters degree can help you achieve the next level of your professional career. Are you looking towards a promotion on the job? Or perhaps you are hoping to create some breakthrough experiment or research study, either way, you should be able to justify your requirements for higher study.

I don't see you writing more than 2 well developed paragraphs for this essay. I hope you can post your draft soon so we can get to work on perfecting the content and getting it ready for submission.
OP Emmaski2010 1 / 1 1  
Dec 10, 2016   #4
As the first person in my family to have the opportunity of having a university education, I want to go a step further by obtaining a postgraduate qualification in order to project my career for more opportunities and to serve as a role model to aspiring young ones from underprivileged background like mine.

After graduating from a Nigeria University with an honor in Microbiology, I wish to pursue a Master of sustainable bioenergy and industrial biotechnology program in order to research and implement policies aimed at providing promising new approaches to sustainable energy energy production, pollution prevention and control, resource conservation and cost reduction.

I chose this course because it combines my passion for reducing my country's over-dependent on fossil fuel, with my favorite branch of science, topped with the potential for research. I believe there is a wealth of untapped potential in the application of sustainable bioenergy and industrial biotechnology to supply a larger share of transport fuels and electricity generation and I have faith that time dedicated to research in this field will be rewarded.

The scholarship and the resulting qualification that comes with it will help to satiate my appetite for research-oriented learning which I've always craved for, equipped me with the needed skills and knowledge to pursue my goal of researching and developing cheaper and eco-friendly energy for my country and provide me the opportunity to set up my own biotechnology laboratory where I can train other aspiring innovators in the field and create employment opportunities for others.
nazzia30 5 / 13  
Dec 10, 2016   #5
from an underprivileged background like mine.

After graduating from a Nigeria University Why don't you mention the name of your university? Or is it called Nigeria University? It is a little confusing...

Apart from that, I think the essay is very well written. Is it not too short though for a statement?
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,519 3442  
Dec 11, 2016   #6
In the second paragraph, you need not mention that you graduated from a Nigerian university. Instead, you should be presenting work related experience as the reason behind your wish to pursue higher studies. It is useless to pursue higher studies of this caliber if you do not have the work experience to support it. What were the problems that you saw while working in the field? What is the specific problem you wish to address by completing these studies?

Like I said, question 2 and 3 are related so the response should be supportive of each other. In this case, removing the reference to the university college studies will help strengthen the essay. The reviewer knows where you studied anyway, that was one of the documents that you submitted with the application. You should just say that "I wish to pursue...". That is more concise and focused on the presentation of necessary information. It effectively combines and introduces the related discussions of paragraphs 2 & 3.

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