Paragraph on how to do better in college (asking for help in college)

I am supposed to write a paragraph on how to do well in college or how to do better than previously.

Here is my essay:

When I started college last fall I was always too nervous to ask a professor or fellow student for help. It took me a whole semester and a few not-so-shy classmates in one of my classes that sat next to me to help overcome my shyness. Before school started again I told myself that I would ask for help when I need it, not when Finals are right around the corner. Asking for help is not just something I want to do to improve my work in college, but something to help me for the rest of my life.

Well I'm not sure how serious this assingment is for you but that paragraph is quite short and unemotional. Try swtiching out words for a synonm and see what happens make your last sentence more profound and open with a general statement eithier about your previous year in college or about help.

i think you should add in details that made you do good in your classes. You can say something along the lines of how studying is not a bad thing and it actually works and to know that it is okay to ask questions and talk to people. Maybe starting a study group with people in your class would make you do better because you are doing your work while socializing so its like killing two birds with one stone.

Use fewer details:
It took me a whole semester and a few not-so-shy classmates in one of my classes that sat next to me to help overcome my shyness. --- this gives less info, but it is such a great sentence.

Hey, this is good, but if you are supposed to be explaining how to do something, that is different from a story like this... maybe you will continue this and add an explanation...

List some strategies for improving your studies. For example, you an use a routine that keeps you studying throughout the day.