I need help with the punctuation and grammar, there are a lot of the ideas that I don't know where to put them in my essay.
When I began my career in communication my goal was to learn perfect English, and be able to communicate perfectly in this country. This was my strongest goal from the time I started seeing my parents struggling to speak and communicate in English, but during my career I struggled too. Communication was my best option because I was going to be able to grow, not just with my language skills, but also with a career that was going to be my main key to succeed.
It was not easy for me to start going to a school where everybody was talking in another language, but I had the motivation and most important the support. Experiencing the cultural and linguistic differences between individuals in this country made me realize the value of a cultural background and how it provided me the ability to communicate effectively.
Meanwhile I was doing my degree in communications I started working with children with speech disorders and disabilities as a translator. I have been always passionate to work with children and to be around them. Since my first language is Spanish I found this job very helpful, not just for me but also for those families In need. This was a great opportunity to practice the English that I had learned by then, and at the same time use my native language in order to help others.
Seeing the communication struggles of the children I worked with, even in just one language, made me find motivation on taken courses such as Spanish translation Interpretation, social problems, multicultural communication which were a hand to understand more about some problems that families were facing with their children.
Since I had the opportunity, I found fascinating how a child can develop communication skills, and how children are able or not to communicate their necessities and satisfactions depending on their backgrounds, or in many cases on their families living behaviors.
After my career in communication, my interest on continuing my graduate studies was completely clear. Having these experiences, my thoughts about the ideal career for graduate school for me changed as year after year. I worked with the early intervention team and the increasing population of children that struggled due to their speech and language disabilities.
Afterwards, not just by having the opportunity to be present on every therapy session, and viewing them in their work environment, but getting the experience by translating. I discovered that speech therapy would be a perfect fit for me. It is my hope and goal to learn as much as I can about all aspects of communication disorders and be able to begin developing my knowledge and skills that a speech language pathologist requires.
I have a strong desire to work as a speech language pathologist, and I feel that I have many qualities that would be an advantage in this field. I am a patient and caring person. It is my goal to earn a masters degree in speech language pathology so that I may go on to become a practicing therapist. I am excited to continue my educational career, and look forward to the opportunity to help improve the lives of people with speech and language disorders
For these reasons, and many more, it would be a privilege to be accepted at Montclair State University. I am a reliable, responsible, and hardworking individual, with a strong desire to learn as much as I can and profit from all of my experiences.
When I began my career in communication my goal was to learn perfect English, and be able to communicate perfectly in this country. This was my strongest goal from the time I started seeing my parents struggling to speak and communicate in English, but during my career I struggled too. Communication was my best option because I was going to be able to grow, not just with my language skills, but also with a career that was going to be my main key to succeed.
When I began my career in communication my goal was to learn perfect English, and be able to communicate perfectly in this country.
.... the word "perfect" is repeated too soon. Also when you say "in this country", the reader starts wondering whether you refer to your home country or the USA (or some other English speaking country) ... so better re-phrase!
When I began my career in communication my goal was to be competent in English language.Well... you need to organize this para to be read more effectively. First sketch down your ideas in a rough paper in a more logical sequence. Then begin to write with one sentence for one idea. In this para, you say something and then move to another idea and again tend to comeback to the previous idea. So, the flow is disturbed.
