This is my essay for the University of Florida Graduate Program in Health Education. Any feedback, advice, revisions or grammatical corrections would be welcome. I am very open. Please help! Thank you
Basically the school is asking for approx. 500 words in the essay. They are also looking for 3 things mentioned within the essay.
1. The purpose of my graduate study
2. My degree goals
3. Reason for choosing my field of study (Health Education)
The essay reads as follows. Thank you! :
For some people, choosing a career path is an easy task, knowing at a very young age they are destined to be an astronaut, a doctor, or actress. However, there are many people, like myself, who realize their calling later in life. One of the most significant beliefs that I have held true since graduating cum laude with a Bachelor's degree in Health Education and Behavior from the University of Florida, is to follow your passion. While completing my internship at GatorWell Health Promotion Services at the University of Florida, I was given the opportunity to help teach several classes that included the subject areas of stress management, sexual health, and drug and alcohol use. This was a great opportunity to apply the knowledge that I had learned in my field of study. In one particular class called Emotional Health and Counseling, I was asked to give a lecture on stress management for college students. I led the class in an enthusiastic and informative lecture on relaxation techniques, using visual aids and class participation. Following the lecture, I directed a meditation session guiding students in different stretches and meditative imagery. After the class, I received a number of positive comments from students. It was from this class, in addition to a number of other teaching opportunities, that I realized how much I enjoy the area of health education and inspiring young people to make healthy lifestyle choices. These experiences clarified to me that Health Education was the right field of study and that becoming a health education teacher was the right career path to follow.
My original plan after graduating in Spring 2010 was to acquire a job as a K-12 Health teacher for the State of Florida. I was particularly attracted to teaching high school students because I feel the increased pressure from physical development and the need for social acceptance from peers provides a need for more health education. I took the opportunity this Spring to complete some teacher education classes to prepare myself for teaching and put into perspective the career of a teacher and how best to promote learning. In addition to observing 30 hours of health and science classrooms, I learned many practical teaching techniques including varying instructional methods and promoting cooperative learning. An instructor from one of my teacher education classes, who is a PhD Professor, School Principal, and educator for 40 years, pulled me aside to say if he had a position available, he would hire me. His words were very encouraging to me as a prospective educator.
Unable to find a career at the current time as a K-12 health teacher, I am not feeling called to become a college professor and help young adults adjust to the college student lifestyle and demands, in which I feel I would make a significant impact. I am currently employed by two traveling worksite health education companies. This has fueled my desire to take my career path further by obtaining a graduate degree and working diligently toward combining my love of teaching with health education for young adults. I also plan to take my graduate degree a step further by earning my PhD and become involved in Health Education research pertaining to collegiate health. The University of Florida has exactly what I am looking for in a Health Education Graduate program. I especially like the fact the coursework covers a wide variety of subject areas that will extend my knowledge of Health Education content and aid me in becoming a better educator. As a former student, returning to the Health Education and Behavior Department would be a very natural adjustment.
Health Education is a field of study that I will forever be passionate about. I enjoy it because it is a constantly evolving discipline. Research is continuously improving in regards to providing the most up-to-date education, implementing the most effective programs, and carrying out preventative care to communities and classrooms. The possibilities are endless when it comes to educating young people, and it would be such an honor to be a part of the process. Thank you for considering me for a position in the Health Education and Behavior Graduate Program at the University of Florida.
For some people, choosing a career path is an easy task, knowing from a very young age they are destined to become an astronaut, a doctor, or actress.
An instructor from one of my teacher education classes, who is a PhD Professor, School Principal, and has been an educator for 40 years, pulled me...
Unable to find a career at the current time as a K-12 health teacher, I am not feeling called ---Is this what you meant to write?--- to become a college professor ...
I am currently employed by two traveling work site health education companies.
I also plan to take my graduate degree a step further by earning my PhD and becoming involved in Health Education research pertaining to collegiate health.
Your essay shows dedication, maturity, passion, and that they'll be lucky to have you as a student.
Good luck with school.
:)
Thank you so much, Susan. Your reply was extremely helpful and I will make those adjustments to my essay straight away. Also, thank you for the kind words! Take care :)
-Beth
