Master in IS Management and programming - personal statement

Hi All,
I am applying to the master in Information System Management, The following is my personal statement. Please give me your favorable comment(s) on both in grammar and content

Thanks in advance!.
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Dear Sir/Madam
I have a keen interest in information technology, especially in programming. I've been working in systems development since I graduated in 2002. During the nine years, it equipped me with the stable technical skills in programming and experience with SDLC methodologies. Through the experience of working on different IT projects, it sparks my interest in project management and I realized that my own career goal is to be a professional IT manager or even a Chief Information Officer. However, I think that my existing knowledge and experience is not enough for me to step over to reach my goal. This is my motivation behind of my admission.

To be a successfully IT manager, the rich IT knowledge and experience is very critical. But the knowledge in various areas of project is also important. I expect that the Master in Information System Management at [Uni Name] allows me to enhance and strengthen my academic knowledge about management theories and methodologies. Also, through the peer to peer experience sharing, I expect I can learn what difficulties would be faced on IS management in various industries and how to settle it by sharing the ideas.

During the time of studying in [Uni Name] for my bachelor degree, I truly believe that [Uni Name] is the best choice to due to the excellent academic reputation and atmosphere within the university.

Thank you in advance for considering my application. It is a great honor for me to have an opportunity for studying in a leading global university.

Yours sincerely
[My name]

During the nine years, it has equipped me with the stable technical skills in programming and experience with SDLC methodologies. Throughout the experience of working on different IT projects, it sparks has established my interest in project management and Imade me realized that my own career goal is to be a professional IT manager or even a Chief Information Officer. However, I think that my existing knowledge and experience is not enoughinsufficient for me to step overbe able to reachachieve my goal. Hence , T this is my motivation behind of my admission to your course .

To be a successfully IT manager, the rich IT knowledge and experience is very critical. However , But the knowledge in various areas of project is also importantcrucial . I expect that the Master in Information System Management at [Uni Name] will allows me to enhance and strengthen my academic knowledge about management theories and methodologies. Also, through the peer to peer experience sharing, I expect I can learn what I difficulties would be faced onto be able to familiarize myself with the challenges and difficulties that may arise during IS management inat various industries and how to settle it by sharing the ideasand learn how to overcome these challenges and difficulties by sharing ideas with one another .

During the time of studying in [Uni Name] for my bachelor degree at [Uni Name], I truly believe that [Uni Name] is the best choice to due to the excellent academic reputation and atmosphere within the university.

Thank you in advance for considering my application. It is awill be a great honor for me to have an opportunity forto studyingin aat a leading global university like yours .

Hi Letoile,

Some suggestions your may want to consider adding into your personal statement;

-SDLC, maybe you can write the full name instead it's abbreviation. The admission officer may not know what it is abbreviated from.
-During the time of studying in [Uni Name] for my bachelor degree, I truly believe that [Uni Name] is the best choice to due to the excellent academic reputation and atmosphere within the university ? Which uni are applying for your masters? Is it the same as your bachelor degree? This sentence is a little bit confusing. If it is the same then maybe you can say "My bachelor degree at [Uni Name] was a wonderful/great experience for me and I wish to continue my masters here as well due to its excellent academic....

If not then you need to separate the sentence, otherwise it is confusing.

GOODLUCK

NatarinC.

I'd suggest dropping the word, "Keen".There are words with a better sound to them that you can use. It is a very strong word. That K sound is dissonant.