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Motivation, plans and goals to make a breakthrough in construction industry and material science

afaf_93 2 / 5  
Feb 10, 2019   #1
Erasmus Mundus MAMASELF Master Motivation letter

Motivation and plans
any comment or suggestion is welcome, I want it to be great.

Dear Sir/Madam;

I am writing about my motivations and goals, that drives me to make a dramatic breakthrough in construction industry and material science. When I was in the fifth grade, my science teacher XXXX told me a Sentence I will never forget, she said "Afaf, you can make wonderful things to the world if you worked hard enough to achieve them", as a result of her encouragement I graduated from Civil Engineering with high GPA and I am very ambitious to change the world. To pursue my goal I must obtain more experience and develop my knowledge, therefore; I decided to take my master's degree abroad to obtain the opportunity of receiving education under highly qualified experts and advanced facilities. By applying to the master program in Materials Science Exploring Large Scale Facilities, and obtaining high level of academic education, I will make a difference in the world with the knowledge acquired from this program.

From my undergraduate studies in Civil Engineering I developed an interest in materials especially after studying the course of "Properties of Materials", where I got the highest mark in class with a grade of 99%. Moreover, when I studied Chemistry Lab Subject I was intrigued to know more about different material reactions and the controlled environment of each reaction to produce a specific outcome. This led me to comprehend safety and organized work space in laboratories, also curiosity has grown on me to learn more. For this reason, the program structure suits me because it focuses more in research and laboratory experiments, also because of the qualities obtained from my previous experience I will be able to adapt quickly in the program.

My main objective for being a part of this program is to grow academically, mentally and spiritually. It will enhance my understanding of other European cultures and their diverse communities, networking with people from all over the world and learn from their experience, by overlooking cultural boundaries, also making friendships for a lifetime. Furthermore, I will learn more about chemical, mechanical and physical properties of materials, also developing my research skills and methodology. In addition, with expert's supervision and the available resources I will obtain clearer vision of how to impact construction industry and to implement it.

I am a hard worker, consistently challenging myself to explore my capabilities and endurance, and I have repeatedly proven that I am able to achieve anything I set my mind to. I enjoy exploring new things and I sole challenging academic problems wisely, because it stimulates my mind to think outside the box. By being a part of this program I will highlight the state of third world countries and increase the cultural diversity by introducing the colorful Libyan cuisine to others. With my mental capabilities and determination to influence the world, I will be a great addition to the program, and I will share my story to others which will increase the program network so it can reach more candidates worldwide.

What I am aiming for after successfully completing my master's degree in Material Science is to get involved in more advanced researches, and to pursuing my PhD. This program is my ticket for success to influence the world.

Yours Sincerely,

Ghaidaa 5 / 17 2  
Feb 10, 2019   #2
Hello Afaf, I believe that you've to focus on your plans more and relate it to your work experience. Also, give examples to make your letter more powerful .. Good luck!
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,828 2626  
Feb 11, 2019   #3
Afaf, paragraphs 1 and 2 should be removed from this essay as these are better presented in the statement of purpose of the essay. The reference to the 5th grade is not useful at all in either essay presentation. You should not use that reference at all in any of the EM essays. Additionally, you are only asked to write a motivation letter, so the goals aspect of the presentation should not be referenced in the essay either. The goals belong in the statement of purpose.

This essay is best focused on an expanded discussion of the 3rd paragraph, merging with the 5th paragraph (closing presentation) of this essay. You can write an effective motivational letter within 4-5 paragraphs. Expanding the objectives discussion will create a strong motivation presentation if discussed in an enhanced manner. The same applies to post study aims if presented in a manner that utilizes it as a part of the motivation for your desire to study this course.

What i see as lacking in this essay is the motivation to study overseas, in a specific country and Erasmus Mundus related university. By developing the motivation for your studies abroad, you further enforce the strength of your conviction that you can only get the best possible training by leaving your country. Explaining reasons why your country cannot fulfill your academic goals are part of the motivational aspect of the discussion.
OP afaf_93 2 / 5  
Feb 11, 2019   #4
Hey @Holt
Thanks for your feedback, I'll rewrite it taking your notes in mind
abclaudya 2 / 2  
Feb 11, 2019   #5
Dear afaf, you need to state the GPA you got instead of saying "high GPA"

I am very ambitious to change the world. I will make ... these sentences are still too abstract. you can be more specific to what do you want to be in the future. for example, you want to be a "XXX" in ministry of ...... that can give big impact to the engineering development.

good luck!

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