Can someone give me some recommendations of the motivation I wrote? Thank you!
Master in Material Science - Motivation Letter
"Why?" It is the question of a child, why is the reason for the blue color of the sea, why does the apple fall to the ground?, and why airplanes flight?, and why the bike, despite it only has two wheels, does not fall in motion?. These questions can elicit embarrassment not just from my father but also from physicists, mathematicians or philosophers.
This pursuit of knowledge characterizes my inner desire for searching answers. Through my studies in chemical engineering, I was able to pursue this request, I received basic means, the necessary tools and skills to formulate a question, to analyze, build up a thesis and to search for the answers. I was able to refine them so far, up to the limits of my capabilities and current research skills. During my years in the university, I acquired a deep and strong background in the fundamental basic of Chemical Engineering in courses such as Thermodynamics, physics-chemistry, energy and material balance and many others. I learned about a range of topics that revealed to me the wide field of application it has on modern life. Due to the broad domain of this I decided to take different courses like, water pollution, surfactants, petroleum and polymers, so I can evaluate and explore various aspects of chemical engineering. Trying to excel in each course and gaining practical experience in laboratories I took.
In one of this courses I had the opportunity (challenge) to Design a Plant, of cellulose acetate, in which we had to design all the equipment involve from the raw material until the final product and also made all the material and energy balances include; without all the sufficient technical information require to make the design. This experience was advantageous in developing my team-working and investigation abilities; I learned how to work independently and as a part of a group as well as meeting deadlines under pressure.
According to the global shortage of natural resources, material science occupies a key role for a successful future of innovations. The analysis, development and optimization of materials, as well as technical and chemical method for the production must fully absorb (concern)(hold the interest of) this development and offer alternatives. Polymer science is a driving factor in the evolution of many aspects of our daily life, the future demands for solutions which can arise only in this discipline and I want to actively contribute with it. This master program will help me expand my mind, enlarge my futurist vision and I will learn how to identify the upcoming technological demands, according to a constantly change of our lives, minds and environment.
I am applying to this Master program because it will show me a different perspective, help me to be successful in the field of Polymer Science and train me to obtain a multidisciplinary background and technical abilities to find solutions to problems.
I will have the necessary knowleged about the properties, synthesis, characterization, use and application of polymeric materials, including their role in sustainable society.
Therefore, I want to (will be able to) develop and implement advance technologies of sustainable polymers for applications in energy efficiency and environmental sustainability by improving or taking advantage of the different elements of polymeric materials.
During my studies I supported a volunteer project, about making a path to generate "compost from waste" in order to give a use to the bio-waste in some communities were the garbage is an important problem. The project consist in 2 parts, the first one was about making a standard method to produce compost from organic waste without pesticides and the second part consist in carrying out seminars about environmental education, the treatment of selected waste and agricultural environmental management and the standard method found to the people of some communities so they can implement the method for them own. Through this work I was able to demonstrate my qualities as a good team player, how to get inspiration through a good culture of communication and cooperation.
Because of my good self-teaching skills I was able to independently perform my internship optimizations in water treatment, which improved the entire process financially and technologically. As a part of the project, I was responsible of making a characterization of the waste water of the process, due this company did not have the appropriate laboratory equipments require to analyzes the samples of water; I had to contact a corporation company to make them there, which make the task more challenge to complete the work on time. After this experience, I became aware of what some of the industrial reality of my homeland and the rest of the world are. Through this experience I strengthened my desire to enroll into an academic international program which will have me with theoretical tools to find suitable sustainable solutions for these far too common problems throughout the world.
I have decided to apply to the Polymer Science Master for several reasons. I would be learning in fourth of the best universities in Germany with partner universities in many countries. In my point of view, the spatial and intellectual closeness of the Universities with the Max Planck Institute of Colloids and Interfaces, the Fraunhofer Institute for Applied Polymer Research and others, and the direct connection with the industry offers me the best study conditions and makes this joint Master Program a unique opportunity. In addition, it will be a path to achieve one of my goals, which is to do a PhD in this field. I am convinced, this program will provide me the necessary theoretical requisite knowledge and maturity I need for a successful upcoming scientific career.
Additionally, studying at these universities will enable me to improve my interpersonal skills (aptitudes). I will have the opportunity to develop myself in an international environment giving me the privilege to meet new people with different points of view on similar issues. I also will improve my German language competences, which will help me to form higher qualifications for my future. Therefore, I consider your Master's Program to be a essencial step on my overall career path, and I am thus very grateful for your consideration of my application.... and I would be honored to be admitted in this international and life-learning experience...
which is the reason for the blue color of the sea, why
I think you should start a new sentence there instead of using a run-on sentence. You'll express the way the ideas flow together anyway, because that feeling is reflected in these sentences you wrote when in a flowing (meditative) state of mind.
I have an idea... this is what I would do: Cut out every sentence between this -- In the days of my childhood I questioned everything (this is normal common stuff, too many essays say this) -- and leave only the great sentence at the end of the paragraph:
...wheels, does not fall in motion.
In the days of my childhood I questioned everything I saw, I did not get always an appropriate response and when I got it I acknowledged this with a renewed question of why. This childish question seems simple yet, but it is in fact the question of complex and abstract nature scientific contexts. With t
This question can ...
And let's tighten up the rest of that sentence:
...elicit embarrassment not just from my father but also from physicists, mathematicians or philosophers.
Try it that way, and then see what other sentences you can kill. Kill them dead. Leave only the best sentences, so this can be like top shelf academic writing. : ) It already is excellent writing, and the thing excellent writers usually need to focus on is 'saying it in fewer words' and editing out the unhelpful parts, even if you like them!