Some movies and TV programs are showing a negative trend in guiding young people' behavior

Are there more negative effects of movies and televisions affect young people's behavior? I concede that there are many movies and televisions have exerted a profound and good influence on young people's behavior, but I convinced that negetive effects are more.

Admittedly, there is no doubt that some movies and televisions have propagated various positive thoughts. The Forest Gump tells us to be simple and insist on everything, Titanic teaches us love is the most valuable thing in our life. On the other hand, television is a most effective way to expose scandals of government and company, and public service advertisements in television serve to spreads some public good concepts, urge some public good behavior development of young people.

Despite the merits of the former point, it is necessary for me to points out the negetive effects stated as below.

First and foremost, as we know, some movies and televisions, such as violent movies have negetive effects on young people's behavior. Consider, for example, The expendables 3 is a popular movie with a incredible box office. My 12 years old brother is very like this movie, and usually imitates Stallone by shooting my head with a fake gun, once after jumping from a high stone and claiming,"I am jet Li!", he hurted his leg. I think all of these rude behaviors can be attributed to his love of this movie. From this example, and many of others, we can learn that these negetive effects are significant threats to out young people.

It would have been better to analyze this essay if you had provided the prompt :-) So I will give an overview review instead. Some advice regarding grammar and content for you to consider :-) I will present a better way for you to have said the paragraph below the original. This is just for your consideration. Take it as advice and nothing more :-)


- Your introductions is lacking a hook that can reel in the reader. A hook is a statement that interests the reader into finding out what you have to say about a certain topic.

- Do movies and television shows have more negative than positive influences on the behavior of young people? Some people will disagree and say that movies and television helped them become better people. Medical professionals will tell you that the results of research on the topic is inconclusive. I say, television and movies both have good and bad influences on a young person's behavior due to his impressionable age and desire to emulate everything and anything he sees and considers "cool".


- This is a good argument. You started with the positive influences before going into the negative. It would have been better if you also mentioned a positive television show as a sample. The nightly news shows and other news broadcasts are not really a good point of comparison because young people do not tend to watch those kinds of programming.

- There have been a number of positive movies that came out of Hollywood in the past years. Movies like Forrest Gump teach us that being different does not mean a person is worthless. While Titanic taught us the value of self-less love.


- Make this the closing sentence of your previous paragraph. It will serve as your transition statement.
- While there are truly some positive lessons to be learned from television and movies, it does not erase the fact that the negative images overpower the positive aspect it provides.


- This is a good example of how movies negatively affect young people. Where is your television show example? Develop the statement further with reasons coming from parents and guardians, teachers, or even child psychology experts.

- Movies such as The Expendables series are highly violent films that are PG rated. That means that boys like my 12 year old brother were allowed to watch the movie. What was the first thing that he did after seeing it? He tried to imitate Sylvester Stallone's style of shooting using a toy gun. He once climbed the stairs and shouted "I am Jet Li!" then jumped. Needless to say, he broke his leg. Bad behaviors can also be attributed to the rise of disrespectful reality shows like Bad Grandpa and Keeping up with the Kardashians. Where being mean to other people and making fun of them seems to be the norm emulated by kids in real life. This makes me believe that no further evidence is needed to prove the negative effect of television and movies on young people.


- merge this statement with your previous one since it deals with the same discussion.


- This is an unnecessary statement that deviated from the prompt. It should not be in this essay. The discussion should only center on television shows and movies.


- You present a good conclusion that is underdeveloped. I am sure you can repeat some of the important points you made just to summarize it for the reader.

-Based upon the aforementioned reasons, I truly believe that movies and television shows have a tendency to influence the behavior of young people in a negative manner. Without proper guidance coming from family members and friends, and government regulation of violence and behaviors in movies and television, young people will tend to be negatively influenced by these media outlets until they learn to analyze what is right and wrong for themselves.

This is a solid start. However, the grammar problems and lack of coherence will require you to revise the essay.

I did not see you write this essay with an appropriate format. I say that this is because you failed to present a strong thesis statement in introduction. A period sentence, for example, can be used to make your thesis strong.


do you mean overwhelming influence?



TV programs have bad influence on young people. This is the reasons why they are easy to make violent and horrible ideas about the way life.

hi vangiespen，

Thank you so much for your reply, I will revised my essay.

It is a solid start, but I will work hard!

PS: the simple prompt is TOEFL, AGREE OR DISAGREE. :)

According to vangi's review, I revised my essay presented below:

Welcome everyone's suggestion and thank you all!

Do movies and television shows have more negative than positive influences on the behavior of young people? There are different ways to look at this issue, a large portion of people claim that tremendous movies and televisions involve some inspirable thoughts, which is benefit for young people's behavior. Some of them will say, "The word, 'a man can be destroyed, but cannot be defeated!' in the movie The Old Man and Sea really encouraged my son!" However, I disagree with this view.

Admittedly, there have been a number of positive movies that came out of Hollywood in the past years. Movies like Forrest Gump teach us that being different does not mean a person is worthless. While Titanic taught us the value of self-less love. On the other hand, television is a most effective way to expose scandals of government and company, say, Watergate of Nixon. Moreover, public service advertisements in television serve to spreads some public good concepts, urge some public good behavior development of young people, such as advertisement of taking care of animals really affects my sister, and since then, she even doesn't eat meat any more. While there are truly some positive lessons to be learned from television and movies, it does not erase the fact that the negative images overpower the positive aspect it provides.

First and foremost, as we know, some movies, such as violent movies have negative effects on young people's behavior. Consider, for example, Movies such as The Expendables series are highly violent films that are PG rated. That means that boys like my 12 year old brother were allowed to watch the movie. What was the first thing that he did after seeing it? He tried to imitate Sylvester Stallone's style of shooting using a toy gun. He once climbed the stairs and shouted "I am Jet Li!" then jumped. Needless to say, he broke his leg. Therefore, this makes me believe that no further evidence is needed to prove the negative effect of this kind of movies on young people.

In addition, some television programs are full of gossip news and inappropriate thoughts, which may serve to an unexpected result. Some days ago, Jimmy Kimmel Live Show is accused for the racism to Chinese. Even though Jimmy apologized publicly, it also had a great impact on millions of audience. Moreover, some bad behaviors of young people can also be attributed to the rise of disrespectful reality shows like Bad Grandpa and Keeping up with the Kardashians. So I hold the firm view that we can't afford to neglect this negative influences.

Based upon the aforementioned reasons, I concede that some movies and televisions are helpful for young people's behavior, but then I presented that some violent movies and televisions shows have exerted a negative influence to young people. I believed without proper guidance coming from family members and friends, and government regulation of violence and behaviors in movies and televisions, young people will tend to be negatively influenced.