Statement of Purpose for Chemical engineering in smart polymer's field

I will be very happy if you can help me to correct mt SoP

I was born in an Informed and educated family which have respected education. My parents have encouraged me to schooling and strongly have been supporting me to continue my education. Many people in different generations of my family have been worked in industry as a technical person and I was familiar with engineering from childhood. I was honored to enter the National Organization for Development of ‎Exceptional Talents (NODET) schools, which was named as SAMPAD in Iran, for elementary and high school educations after a highly competitive exam with the important role of the Intelligence in it. In these schools I was being educated in different part of science at the high level for 7 years and was honored in different scientific competitions. The most important of them is passing the first step of National Olympiad of Chemistry in 2004 and ranked as the top 0.5% students in the B.A.Sc. entrance examination for universities in 2005.

Based on my Predisposition to engineering, remarkable talent for solving problems in chemistry and nature and definition of chemical engineering I had entered university of Tehran to study chemical engineering as a B.Sc. student. During four years of study I have acquired a strong background in the fundamentals of ‎basic chemical engineering subjects such as thermodynamic, Transport phenomena, Reactor designing, and process design and economics. My B.S thesis entitled "" under supervision of Dr."" witch was a new research in nanotechnology field. I have graduated in polymer field of chemical engineering with M.SC degree from "", which is one of best universities especially in polymer science, with GPA "" from 20. In my master's thesis I worked on the "" under supervision of "". New methods for treatment of diseases have always been one of my favorite topics and polymers with new architectures such as brushes have strong potential to be used in different areas of biomedical application such smart drug delivery and regenerative medicines. Related to the nature of research project and novel sciences, it is compulsory to continue the education in PhD level. As An PhD student I will be able to continue my researches on smart polymers in advanced level with more experience and accuracy by directing project to more specialized goal and passing from laboratory steps to medical application of new manufactured materials. for being an efficient person in research projects having enough experience and knowledge in laboratory skills was an important factor and I was expert in different methods of synthesis of these smart polymeric materials and use of wide range of characterization laboratory equipment.

I plan to continue my education to Ph.D. level in an internationally reputable ‎and high-ranking research university. In order to find the appropriate graduate ‎program which can fulfill my educational goals and best match my research interests, ‎I have perused different sources, and I have found Dr. " "'s research group at university of " " well suited to my interests. I have full ‎confidence that my diligence, dedication, and genuine interest in learning coupled ‎with the exceptional guidance I can receive in University of "..." will allow me to ‎contribute to my fields of interest

Can we see the instructions please?

Also, what does "smart polymer's field" mean?

Even without knowing those things, let me tell you this:

Your paper looks more like a list of events than a declaration of your purpose.

what do you mean from"Can we see the instructions please?"?
smart polymers are new generation of polymeric material with response to external stimuli. a polymer engineer knows these kind of polymeric material
About latest line in your answer, could you tell me some points to fix it?

Thanks. It was just phrased oddly in the context of your post title.


The college hopefully gave you instructions to follow in writing this essay. (They probably at least gave you a question to answer.)

I'm asking for that because I can't tell whether you're giving them what they want until I know what they want.

jkjeremy
thanks for your answer.I didn't know that we have to write special SoP for every universities and I think that it has a general structure, so I will check the website of my favorite universities for the instruction and after rewriting the essay will upload it here for checking

No!

Please do NOT rewrite it yet.

Just post the instructions.

If you'd like to write and post an outline first, that's fine.

hi,here is the sample instruction for my favorite university,I will appreciate you if help me to fix my letter according to this.

....
Opening Paragraph: State your general reasons for pursuing graduate study and introduce yourself to the selection
committee in a compelling manner. Make it interesting; the committee members will read many applications, so
be sure yours gives them a sense of your particular talents and individuality.

Background: Describe your community and family background and tell how your interest in, and knowledge of your
chosen fi eld developed. Describe any personal attributes and qualities that would help you complete graduate study
successfully, such as determination in achieving your goals, initiative and ability in developing ideas, and capacity
for working through problems independently.

Qualifications: Explain those experiences that will serve as a foundation for your forthcoming graduate work. Discuss
(1) your expertise and accomplishments in your major fi eld, (2) your undergraduate studies in general and how they
relate to what you intend to do in graduate school, (3) specifi c learning experiences that demonstrate your motivation
and inspiration for continued study, and (4) other relevant experiences such as jobs for community activities, including
names of organizations and concrete detail.

Specifi c Goals: Express the specifi c training and background that you would like to acquire while in your graduate
program. Your specifi c goals should be consistent with the goals and training objectives of the department to which
you are seeking admission.

Closing Paragraph: Leave the reader with a strong sense that you are qualifi ed and will be successful in graduate
or professional school. Here, as throughout your Statement of Purpose, try to be as brief but as informative as
possible.

I will get to this either tonight or tomorrow morning.

Please respond because I don't think the software here will allow me to post again until you do.

John

hi
Thanks a lot. I am waiting for your answer

First off, the template you've provided is both too long and, at the same time, inadequate.

The problem with the essay you've posted above is that lots of what you've written could apply to almost any other person. (For example, you say, "I plan to continue my education to Ph.D. level in an internationally reputable ‎and high-ranking research university." Lots of people "plan" to do this.)

To a great extent, you've rewritten your transcript.

A statement of purpose is, to a great extent, an emotional appeal.

Just for starters, try this:

1. What you were like when you were little?

2. What are you like now?

3. How do you intend to help society in the future?

---Write between 100 and 150 words answering each of the above questions. You'll write a total of 300-450 words.
---I don't want to see the word "polymers" (or any other word that I don't already know) anywhere.

The next step will be to tell me (by name) which schools you might like to attend and then find the admissions essay prompt for each.